Nine days ago I became a caregiver again. My amazing husband who I call superman because of his physical and spiritual strength was on the platform with his guitar and ready to lead worship for an evening service at our church when he had a stroke. I rushed to his side. I followed the medics to the ambulance. Within moments they decided he had to be flown to a hospital in another city. I drove to the pickup site to see him loaded into the helicopter. I was shaking so hard a friend drove me to the hospital.

The doctor met me as soon as I got there. I vaguely heard the words stroke, blood clot, and I am going in to remove it now. God had kept him alive. I sat and waited to hear the results. Friends and family had rushed to my side. About 1 in the morning I sent everyone home and sat by his side. Due to a lack of intensive care units, we were there until late afternoon before entering the icu unit.

My husband’s mind was strong. He could talk. His right side was not effected. His left side was effected and some vision is off. We were in icu for several days before transitioning to a regular room. Now we have transitioned to an acute rehab facility.

I have slept in a chair by his side in the emergency room. A recliner in icu and a bench with cushions in his hospital room. All night long the walls vibrated and helicopter fumes were happening. We were directly below the launch site. I exhaustedly roamed around the hospital finding a bite to eat or drink and a place to shower.

My mind raced with questions as I turned to God for peace. I tried to be calm and self assured when with my husband. Amazing staff truly showed compassion. I fell asleep in the icu unit and missed the time I was supposed to leave. A nurse walked in and woke me. I apologized and reached for my purse and shoes to leave. Then I heard my husband ask for her to please let me stay. She turned to me and I am surprised at what I asked. “Have you never seen the movie The Notebook?

Her heart softened and this sweet nurse was the charge nurse. She found me a recliner and a blanket. She came in as shifts changed and whispered “I will be here for the next three days. You can stay each evening but don’t tell the others in icu waiting. God’s favor was so with us that I am crying as I write.

My husband and I prayed for physicians, nurses and anyone who helped care for him. When I ventured out I prayed for families with adult children on life support. God had complete strangers approach me and ask to pray for me.

I share all of this with you because it has been my story for years now. When you walk through the toughest and darkest times, God is your strength. I do not know if my husband will recover. I am looking at my vehicle and home thinking about changes and adjustments. I want to be able to hold his left hand and have him feel it. I may now be caring for a man who has always been strong and independent.

If this doesn’t make a lot of sense, I am really tired. Two nights ago, I settled enough to sleep. Nine hours later, I woke up rested.

The caregivers I lead a support group for have called and even visited since he moved into rehab. That about ripped my heart strings because I know they carry a heavy load themselves.

Now that I am in the current situation, I was forced to allow people to help. My farm animals had to be cared for. Friends have mowed the lawn, fed the animals, collected the mail and brought meals to me. When caring for my parents, I did not ask for help when I really could have used it. Now this 5 foot tall woman will need help caring for my 6 foot tall husband.

Allow people to help you when you need it.

Stay tuned as God writes our story. My husband was able to use a harness and attempt to take steps yesterday. He is very determined to recover as well as he can. Our prayer is for total healing, but we accept God’s plan for our lives.

Word for Today

Romans 8:37-39

 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

We praise you for walking each day with us giving us hope and comfort. You show up in the dark silent moments when we can’t even find the words to pray. You see our hearts and meet us where we are. Bring strength to us when we are weak.

Amen