Recently, I spoke to my own church about how they could become more dementia friendly. This included information on how to come along side families and meet their needs as well as learning how to communicate and relate with the person who has dementia.
This type of training allows people to visit someone with dementia in their home without being afraid of the unknownand feeling uncomrtable. Isolation is not good for the person with dementia or the caregiver. They need to have people in their lives to comfort and encourage them. They need friends who can step in and offer respite care. Offering to stay with the one with dementia requires taking time to understand where they are in their journey and adjust to meet them where they are. True love is stepping up to the plate even if it makes you uncomfortable.
Do not ask a caregiver ,”What can I do for you?”. Use your observation skills. Does the lawn need mowing? Do light bulbs need changing? Think of practical things that they may need assistance with. Bring a meal over. Offer to change their car oil. Plant flowers in the flowerbeds.
We can all find a way to help.
The second part was about how we can meet their needs when they attend a church service. It takes a huge effort for the caregiver to actually get someone with dementia ready to go anywhere. Often there are clothing changes due to accidents. You only cause behavior issues if you rush to get ready. Confusion and crowds play into the equation as well. Both people will arrive tired.
Can someone who has served as an usher still serve with mild cognitive decline? Can this person still sing in the choir? Can this person still teach a Sunday School class? The answer to each of these questions is yes! They may need an assistant, but they can still find a purpose as long as possible.
Yesterday I watched an elderly gentleman follow a group onto the stage for a music special. He was seated and given a paper to follow along and he sang. I was moved to tears because I am pretty sure he had mild dementia.
If someone is on a walker, offer to visit with them at the door while the caregiver brings the car to the door. When friends come over to speak to the caregiver after service engage the person with dementia while their spouse shares a few moments with friends. If you notice a caregiver step out to go to the restroom, move over and sit with their loved one so they do not get afraid.
We can be the love that enters someone’s loneliness.
Word for Today
He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Heavenly Father,
Show me how to love as you love. Open my eyes to the needs around me and give me the compasssion to meet those needs.
Amen
Walking Them Home 