Caregiving comes with tears. Before you drown in those tears, take a few minutes to reflect on the times you had to laugh.
Have you ever received a phone call from a parent telling you that their phone is not working?
Dad “I just called to tell you my phone isn’t working”
Me “Whose phone are you using now?”
Dad “Mine.”
A caregiver called one day to tell me my mom was having a yard sale. I asked how she knew this and was informed that mom had been throwing things into a closet all week for the sale. I asked about which closet and realized it was not a closet. It was a rear staircase that led to their garage. When I checked it, the entire staircase was full!
A friend left a large cup in her car with her dad. Later that day when she retrieved the cup, it was full of urine. Her dad had used it while she ran into a business. When asked about it, he informed her that a strange man hopped into the car, used her cup and left.
Another caregiver I know left his wife in the kitchen. When he returned he entered an “I Love Lucy” episode. She had poured liquid detergent into the dishwasher and turned it own. Bubbles were everywhere.
Some dementia patients have a lingered guilty conscience they have to clear. An 86 year old woman pulled me aside one day and insisted she had something she had to tell me. She led me to a corner and lowered her voice. She once again insisted I had to hear this. I calmly told her she could tell me. She leaned in and lowered her voice. I then listened as she informed me that she had a thing going on with my husband. It was very difficult to control my laughter as I thanked her for telling me. I approached the facility director with this information. She laughed and said the woman had a thing with her husband and most of the employees’s husbands.
Sometimes you can’t truly laugh until later, but you will have things to amuse you on this journey.
Humor is a gift. God gave us emotions and reassured us that they will change…
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
I wept. I laughed. I mourned and am still learning to dance.
A new rhythm is emerging as I assist others on their journey of caregiving. I still weep when they weep. I still laugh when they are able to laugh. I wrap my arms around them when they mourn. I am now able to walk away and focus on looking forward and making memories in the moment during our retirement years. Maybe the days on our farm playing with dogs and tending sheep will bring joyful dancing.
Just remember the emotional ups and downs are temporary. Don’t hold back the emotions. They may explode at the wrong time and place if you don’t release them when you can. Step away when angry for a few moments to regroup. Laugh privately at the funny moments and with a person when they see the humor too. Never make them feel as if you are laughing at them.
Just this morning a friend who is a caregiver sent me a funny text that had brightened her day. I was thankful that she is taking time to do this for herself.
Go ahead and smile as you read the quotes below.
“My job has made me a pro at finding things I didn’t lose.”
“Leftovers? I prefer to call them ‘meal prep for the next week’.”
“I argued with Mom for a half-hour to wear matching socks only to discover I went shopping with my shirt inside out.“
All of you could add your own moments of humor. Go ahead and comment me with yours so I can laugh with you.
Word for Today
Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.”
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Dear God,
I am so thankful that you understand the many emotions that I am experiencing as a caregiver. Sometimes I struggle with these emotions but I know you stablize me and encourage me through all of them. Help me to find my joy in you.
Amen
Walking Them Home 