Alzheimer’s disease erases many memories for the person living with the disease. Memories for family members will live on and be cherished. We have technology now to save voices, laughter, stories and visuals of our family and friends. If you have a family member in the early stages of dementia please use that technology. I left messages on my phone for years just to hear my parents voices.
Even if you do not have Alzheimer’s in your family now, you may someday. Listening to the spousal caregivers talk about what they miss the most is causing me to be more deliberate about making and saving memories that I and my husband can hang on to should one of us be left alone.
I changed phones and lost a video that I treasured. My mom was dancing and laughing with her youngest grandson. Prior to having Alzheimer’s she would never have acted this silly. We all sat watching in awe. We were in awe over the fact that she was truly happy and in the moment with him. I was pondering about how much longer we would be able to hear her laugh.
Years later I watched that same grandson see my dad wiggle his ears. Every grandchild, niece and nephew loved watching dad do this little trick. Dad had been so busy taking care of mom that he hadn’t thought to show this youngest grandchild his ear wiggling. My nephew sat trying his best to master this for himself while dad smiled. Dad passed away one week later.
Don’t put off taking small trips, watching sunsets, sharing hugs and expressing love to each other. Make the most of your time. Life moves at a fast pace and it is way to easy to get caught up in the busyness. My heart hurts when a senior citizen is the sole caregiver for their spouse. They look at me and tell me they cannot ask their children to help. They have their own lives and are busy.
Allow me to speak for these caregivers. Find the time to honor your parents. You are robbing yourself of something you can never get back. You can find time to meet a friend for coffee or attend a sporting event. You can find time for social media. You can find time to check on mom and dad.
“Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.” —Michael J. Fox
A huge excuse we often hear is “It’s Complicated”. When someone has Alzheimer’s their life and their caregiver’s life are complicated. Family can find a way to work through all of the complications and help each other survive. Asking God to make a way for you to do life together is a great first start.
Personally, there was a lot of travel and expense involoved during our time as caregivers. I gave up a job. God has abundantly blessed us along the way. It was an honor to be with my parents in their final days.
Caregivers, speak up. Give your children an opportunity to find ways they can help. Give them opportunities to make memories while they can.
Word for Today
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
Song for Today
This song refers to when we allow walls to form between us and God.
Prayer for Today
Dear God,
We need you to tear down walls and heal our hearts so that we can share life with those in our family. Show us how to build bridges instead of walls. Draw us closer to each other as we draw closer to you. Teach us to find balance in this life. Give us moments of genuine love as we show compassion and grace to those around us.
Amen
Walking Them Home 