The sun comes up every morning and goes down every evening. I learned to appreciate the simple things. Some days were wonderful and some were difficult. God was with me every step of the way. I trusted him as I walked each step. I tiptoed at first but soon learned to boldly step into motion when it was needed.
I made many new friends and was so thankful for special friends who listened to me without complaining or telling me what to do. They became sisters that I love dearly. We laughed, cried and prayed together. They reminded me not to lose myself in the process. Life would go on after my caregiving season was over.
Seeking answers to questions helped me prepare for changes before they happened. Educating myself taught me to plan for the unexpected and sometimes shocking events that unfolded. The power of knowledge was critical to have in my toolbox.
I decided that setting boundaries protected me at times. Avoiding social media was a strong boundary I had to set. My life had to be focused on my parents and in-laws. They needed me to make them the center of my life. My circle included them, my husband and few others. If I tried to explain how challenging caregiving is, those who have not walked in those shoes could offer comments that hurt and were critical. Bitterness could take root. To keep my heart free to love, I had to walk away knowing that I was doing the best I could.
My awareness of how prevalent Alzheimer’s and other dementias is in senior citizens is acute. I find myself recognizing it almost every time I am out and about our community. Defensive driving takes on a whole new meaning when you see how many drivers continue to drive after being given a diagnosis of mild dementia. You never know the moment that cognition will decline and an accident will occur.
I discovered that I am much more resilient than I thought I would be. Introverts don’t speak out sometimes, but being an advocate demanded a boldness that was awkward at first. By the end, I had no issue speaking out when it was necessary.
My faith is stronger than it has ever been. God alone empowered me to be a caregiver. He gave me wisdom, peace and hope on the darkest days and nights. He reminded me that I was not alone. He was my comfort when I said to say my final goodbye.
I used to worrry about what if this happens or that happens. Worry doesn’t do anything but rob me of time that can be spent on better things
Having trouble believing in myself has been an issue for me all of my life. Surviving 14 years as a caregiver has shown me a few things.
What I look like should not hold me back.
Having a degree in a field unrelated to what I do now doesn’t limit what I can or cannot do.
If I have a dream, money should not hold me back.
God has given me a voice and I can use it to share with other caregivers.
I must be bold and step into new adventures with confidence.
Naysayers will always criticize, offer unsolicited advice and rain on my parade. I can apply the words my husband’s grandmother gave us when we were young. She quietly pulled us aside and said, “Just smile and listen, then let their words go in one ear and out the other”. Heeding her advice has usually worked well. She was an amazing woman who loved God and us deeply. She knew that we loved God and would trust him to be our guide.
The rain may try to shut down my parade, but I have the power to dance in the rain and think about how amazing my flowers will be afterwards.
Word for Today
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
My Heavenly Father,
i praise you that I can cry out to you and trust you to work everything out for my good. Sometimes I don’t recognize what is for my good and get ahead of you. Forgive me and teach me to slow down and trust you more.
Amen
Walking Them Home 