Did you think I was addressing almost everyone who has earbuds in or maybe teens with messy rooms? Oh, it could be applied so easily to these. My husband listens to podcast while working on our farm. He walks into the house and ignores me because he forgets to turn the podcast off. Nothing is more frustrated than feeling unheard.
When a person has Alzheimer’s disease they can still hear. It takes their mind longer to process the information. When speaking with them you should slow your speech down. Use simple language with words that are easier to understand. In a conversation wait and let them attempt to reply to you.
This will take an effort on your part to restrain yourself from moving at the pace you are used to. Many of us are already thinking of our response when someone else is speaking. Perhaps, having to break that habit will help us become better listeners. The person you are now communicating with deserves your full attention.
Spouses are guilty of answering for their husband or wife when with others. This is their attempt to protect their spouse from embarassment. It becomes second nature. It happens especially when other family members are around. That is why children are shocked when they finally realize their parent has mild cognitive impairment. Often a caregiver passes away first and the children scramble making decisions about the other parent’s care. They got blind sided because the disease had been hidden so well.
Pay attention when you sense the smallest mental decline. Take the parent you are concerned about out for a walk or drive and pay close attention to their communication with you.
It is a wonderful gift that hearing is not the first sense to go with Alzheimer’s because music becomes an amazing tool. Please watch this video clip. It shows you what words have a hard time explaining. Grab a tissue.
Music can be extremely effective with people who have Alzheimer’s. Choose the music you use carefully. Remember to use their preferred songs and artists. Make selections from decades ago. My mom was nonverbal. I taught my granddaughter a song that mom had listened to as a teenager. When my granddaughter got to the chorus my mom said a few syllables while smiling. We had a breakthrough and they connected. I will always cherish that memory.
Many pianist still have muscle memory and can sit down and play. While volunteering in a memory care unit one day, I heard hymns coming from a baby grand piano. I turned to see one of the residents playing with total contentment on her face. The director of the facility informed me that her husband moved their piano there when she moved in.
Loud noises will startle someone with dementia. It is absolutely vital for you to stay in the hospital room when the patient has dementia. Constant voices in the hall, staff going in and out, beeping machinery, and sirens outside create fear and only add to the confusion of being in a strange place. Your touch and voice can be reassuring.
They are always listening. Do not talk about them and their condition in their presence. Show respect and honor them. Never ask them a do you remember question. Instead, you could say I loved our vacations with the children to the beach. We had long strolls as the sunset and collectied seashells. The seagulls surrounded us when the kids threw them snacks. Just hearing the story may spark a memory in them. They may then join in the conversation. Taking a photo to share while you recall the memory would be nice.
Even when they tire and their eyes close, they may be listening. Just the sound of your voice brings comfort. Talk about football, dancing or whatever topic they once enjoyed discussing.
When giving directions keep it simple.
Wrong Way –
We are going for a walk. Put your socks and shoes on then, grab a jacket from the closet.
Right Way –
Here are your shoes and socks. Put your socks on. Now put your shoes on. Let me help you get a jacket because it is cold outside.
When you ask them to make a choice keep it simple.
Wrong Way –
What doe you want to wear today?
Right Way –
Would like to wear the blue shirt or the red shirt?
Keep in mind that mutiple auditory inputs at once definitely become noise pollution. You may be able to hear two conversations at once, but they just hear lots of noise and struggle to keep up. Avoid crowds and parties when this becomes an issue. Each day is a struggle in processing all they hear. They get exhausted. Be patient.
Word for Today
But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Dear God,
I praise you for giving us the gift of music. Help us to use it to brighten the lives of our family member with dementia. Help us to create moments for them that produces joy and they still feel vibrant and alive.
Amen
Walking Them Home 