Graduating from being a caregiver is much like graduating from high school. The vast difference is you are wiser and well seasoned with life experiences.
When you graduate from high school you leave the close knit group of friends filled with hopes and dreams. A whole new world awaits for you to explore. You are excited and a bit afraid of stepping away from the familiar.
A caregiver has usually had their adventures of youth and is in the midst of following their dreams for the golden years.
Then unexpectedly your world shrank and your dreams were shattered by a disease called Alzheimer’s. Friends slowly faded away and your focus became narrrower and narrower. You found yourself in a new role of supporting someone who once was strong. One long day followed another as both of you adjusted. Sometimes you gave up hobbies and activities. Sometimes happiness was replaced with doubt, loneliness, heartache and confusion. Many days you answered the same question over and over.
You eventually made adjustments. You discovered your strengths you didn’t even know you had. You poured love out knowing the person you loved could feel it, but didn’t have much left to express their love to you. A smile or twinkle in their eye was enough on the rare days this occurred.
I know men and women who gave of themselves for years to their spouses. I am one of those children who had to become the caregiver of my parents even when they no longer recognized me as their child. Then the day comes that you say goodbye. Tears flow and hearts break. The life we have known ends and we are left picking up the pieces of our heart and trying to move on. Clothes and possessions have to be collected and dealt with. Small things trigger the waterfall of emotions. For me, I was cleaning out of my parents house . A guest room had a small bowl of potporri. As I poured it into a trash bag the scent of mulberry overwhelmed me. Mom’s favorite scent hit me hard. My husband came looking for me and held me as I sat down and cried. There is a season of readjusting.
Instead of being a senior in school you are a senior in life. You are dumbfounded in trying to process who am I now and where do I go from here. Finding your new role is not always easy. Take your time and pray about your next steps. Explore nature. Reconnect with friends. Try a new hobby.
Perhaps, a wiser and more mature you still has lots to offer to the younger generation. I thank you for the tremendous and valient effort you put into being a caregiver. You are worthy of being recognized as a hero. Only God knows your heart and only God can heal your pain. You will hear the words “well done my good and faithful servant” one day. While waiting, accept my virtual hug.
We will always remember the years of caregiving and the friends we made along the way. Much like climbers on Mount Everest, we struggled, we became stronger and have earned a rest.
Word for Today
Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Dear God,
I thank you for the strength, compassion, and tender mercy you poured into my life during the caregiving years. Day by day you gave me the determination to be the best caregiver I could. You comforted me when the days were hard.
Today I ask that you give me opportunites to encourage caregivers around me. Remind them that they are loved and not alone.
Amen
Walking Them Home 