Snow! The child that hides inside of me is full of delight. I am sitting by my kitchen window watching snow flakes fall. Flurries are all we will see today, but I will take what I can get. In January it will be three years since we moved to the farm. We are still waiting to wake up to snow covered fields. This southern girl has a smile on her face with sparkles in her eyes.

Now I feel inspired to light a fire and and put up my Christmas tree. It was a struggle in deciding to decorate without family and friends visiting this year. A dear friend reminded me of how excited we were to put up our first tree after getting married. We encouraged each other to reach back and try to create the same excitement this year, even if it will be like we were years ago before our families expanded.

I accepted the challenge. The tree will be lit. The stockings will be hung. Favorite treats will be shared and music will fill the air. I will venture to the Christmas tree farm I can see from my porch and buy one of the lovely fresh wreaths they make. Their trees are still small so I will have to wait a few years to get a tall one from them. My husband will hang the top ornaments and I the low ones on our tree.

I encourage you to do make the most of the season as well. Often a person with memory loss still has long term memories. Light the tree. Play the carols. Hang a stocking. The mood you create may cause them to recall experiences of Christmas as a child. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Keep things simple, but please do celebrate the birth of Christ and let His peace reign in your hearts and homes.

Sit by the Christmas tree and hold hands. Play a game or work a puzzle together. Who cares if the rules are followed or if the pieces are in the right place? Unless you are diabetic, eat ice cream and cookies for lunch. Enjoy life.

My parents loved Christmas. It was about having family around them. While circumstances may have changed for us this year. We still hold family in our hearts! In the world of caregivers, family sometimes becomes friends that are fellow caregivers. I invite you today to grab a Christmas mug and fill it with hot cocoa, spiced cider, hot tea or coffee and join me as we play our favorite Christmas music. I can’t be there in person but I can in spirit. Sending love and a reminder that God sends simple gifts to lift our spirits such as snow flurries in the south.

Word for Today

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Prayer for Today

Dear Heavenly Father,

Today I pause to soak in your blessings. When this world offers pain and trials, I turn my thoughts to you. I chooses to celebrate the greatest gift of all. I choose to find the quiet times that you can settle my thoughts and restore peace.

Thank you for holding me close when people cannot. For this I am so grateful.

Amen

Song for Today

Hello again. My life has had a couple of the interruptions I mentioned in the last post. One involved digging sweet potatoes because of a quick dip in temperatures here. Another was holding a ladder while my sweet husband installed leaf guards. Then a call came about my uncle. He had been hospitalized and his daughter needed to go back to work. Being asked to stay with him for a few days was truly a beautiful gift. Due to covid lockdowns, I had not seen him since February. Our hospital allows one visitor per day now. So I am well sanitized and know my temperature is around 97 each day after a few days of going in and out of the building.

I was able to love on him and cut his hair. He had only had one since February. Have you ever tried cutting hair in a hospital? I was able to cut one side while he was in a recliner. The pumps, iv and oxygen lines kept me limited to that side. In the afternoon I was able to cut the other side while he was back in his bed. In the between time, a doctor came in. He asked, “How are you?”. My witty and keen uncle replied, “My head keeps tilting to one side because it is so heavy”. The witty doc came back with “Oh, I thought you were trying to be a rock star”.

We discussed his trip to the Grand Old Opry and the early years of his marriage. He is 86 and his mind is still sharp. My heart was full and just the sight of him reminded me of my dad and grandparents. The phone calls from his children who live away offered me a chance to reconnect with them as well.

I am so grateful that I could be there as his advocate when doctors, nurses and care managers came and went. Use my own experience from this week to recognize how important it is to find extended family when you need them. Distance and jobs may keep your own siblings or children from helping. There may be other relatives that would feel honored to be with your loved one. I know I was. While a hospital stay might have been stressful for my uncle, it opened a door for me to visit with him. For this I am so very thankful.

If you are reading this and are feeling overwhelmed, do not give up hope. God may have a beautiful gift coming your way as well.

Before leaving today I would like to talk a little about feeling unbalanced or out of sorts sometimes. My uncle joked about being unbalanced because the untrimmed hair was making his head tilt. Sometimes we find ourselves in his situation. God may be pruning our lives. He is always in the process and it may leave you feeling like things just aren’t right. Perhaps it is painful. You feel unsettled and are looking for peace. To find this peace when things feel unsettled we must walk by faith. Sometimes it may feel like walking with a blindfold and trusting God to guide our steps. It may even feel like walking blindfolded on a tightrope. Then you not only trust him to guide your steps but you rest in the knowledge that he is also your safety net.

Be blessed and trust God. He may just have a beautiful gift wrapped up and tied with a bow to give you today.

Word for Today

John 13:34-35
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

We praise you for loving each of us, for sending Jesus to show us how to love and for placing opportunities for us to share that love.

Amen

Song for Today

Open the eyes of our hearts Lord.

“We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer

My life had been blessed and somewhat sheltered as I lived in a cocoon. Then bit by bit that cocoon began to unravel. Unexpected experiences and circumstances made me venture into a world full of hurting people. God interrupted my pleasant life and began to test me and stretch me. I didn’t even realize that God was going to force me to walk in the shoes others had walked in. This exposed my heart to pain I had never experienced. It took what I knew as compassion and stretched it into a much deeper love than I had ever known. A series of events and changes that could have been viewed as disastrous turned out to be a time of pruning and growth. I still don’t see the fruit I hope to see but my faith is strong and I know who holds my future.

I am not the only one God has done this to, He knows the whole story of our lives and interrupts our lives to prepare us for what He has planned for our lives. We will explore a few of the people this has happened to.

Joseph was a well loved child who was sold by jealous brothers. His life was interrupted at a young age. He was thrown into a pit, falsely accused and forgotten. He had every reason to be full of anger and contempt. He had every reason to fall into his own pit of misery, rejection and pity. He choice to hear God’s voice and lived to see himself a leader and reconciled with his family.

Moses was set afloat into a river as an infant by a broken hearted mother who was trying to save his life. He was raised with privilege in a palace and highly educated. Something in him snapped and he reacted when he saw a slave mistreated. Confused and afraid he ran from everyone and hid. Then God interrupted his life with a burning bush. Moses went on to lead a nation to freedom.

Paul was doing his best to be a Jewish leader and thought he was serving God. Then he had an encounter that left him blind. This was just the beginning of a lifetime of interruptions that would include imprisonments, beatings, a shipwreck and trials most of us will never see. He went on to serve God in a most powerful way.

My story is far from being as dramatic as the examples above. God has different plans for each of us. He has a plan for you. The time you spend as a caregiver might just be the interruption God uses to lead you to greater area of ministry. The lessons you learn may be preparation for what is next. This time may simply be a time of learning to trust God and a time to build your faith.

Everyone made sacrifices and felt pain in the above examples. I do not promise you a world free of suffering and full of instant gratification. I do promise you the interruptions brought by God are worth it! Trust His plan.

I leave you with one reminder. God interrupted one man’s life just moments before his death. He hung on a cross next to the only answer all of us need. A conversation began between him and Jesus that went like this.

Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

 Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

Don’t ignore God’s interruptions. They bring you life, even if it is the last interruption you respond to. Listen to God’s voice. Grow through what He teaches you. Trust God to light your path moving forward.

Word for Today

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

I thank you for sending Jesus so that I can have true life. Help me to listen when you interrupt my life. When I listen, give me patience to wait on you. Help me to grow into who you designed me to be. Help me to lay aside my plans and trust you to be the light unto my path.

Amen

Song for Today

Alzheimer’s is not just memory loss. Alzheimer’s kills. Alzheimer’s disease is the sixth-leading cause of death in the United States.

Last year I participated and volunteered for our local Walk to End Alzheimer’s. This year I have raised almost twice as much as last year. While the walk looks different due to covid-19, we will still walk.

If you are a caregiver reading this, you understand that the funds raised are crucial.

This is from the Alzheimer’s Association 2020 facts and figures report.

“Alzheimer’s takes a devastating toll on caregivers. Compared with caregivers of people without dementia, twice as many caregivers of those with dementia indicate substantial emotional, financial and physical difficulties.

Of the total lifetime cost of caring for someone with dementia, 70% is borne by families — either through out-of-pocket health and long-term care expenses or from the value of unpaid care.”

It is time to find a cure. I have said too many goodbyes in the last few years. My mother passed in 2016. My time spent volunteering in the last four years have been filled with meeting and loving some beautiful people. We laughed, cried, sang, danced and shared stories. My life has been richer from the experiences of knowing these lovely people who were struggling with memory loss. Their families have had to say goodbye just like I did. Our hearts ache because their last years were robbed of living life to the fullest extent they should have had.

Now you know why I walk. Asking for donations is something I have a hard time doing. This is a cause I believe in. Please find a walk near you or donate to someone who is walking.

Letting go is never easy. It is intensely emotional. I have let go of the tiny hand of my precious babies as they bravely took their first step. My husband held his breath as he ran along and let go of a bicycle as they balanced and pedaled away. Years passed and we found ourselves driving away from a college campus. The car was too quiet. There was silence as tears rolled down our cheeks. As I watched my adult children step out into the world, I felt a huge loss.

Suddenly, I was like a stranger standing on the porch while peeking into the windows of their lives. I didn’t dare knock on the door demanding to be let in. Instead I silently yelled, “Hey, are you ok?”. Of course, I knew they were. They were simply off onto their own adventures, as they should be. It just happened way too fast for me. I had to let go of my old role and adjust to a new one.

Time passed and I saw my parents aging. Then Alzheimer’s entered the picture. I had to let go of my dreams of taking trips with my parents or sharing long phone conversations. I watched them meet my grandchildren and then not remember their names. I had to let go of them being so excited to have children running around the house and accept the fact that this overwhelmed them now.

When my mom was in her last days, I told her that I loved her and that she could go home to Jesus whenever it was time. I encouraged my dad to do the same. Dad asked, “What do I say?”. I told him that he had loved mom greatly for many years and assured him he would know what to say and I walked out of the room. The next day Mom was still with us. Dad was beside her when I took a short walk. As I stepped into the doorway I saw Dad standing at Mom’s side and holding her hand. He leaned down and said “Let’s count together…10…9…8”. Tears poured as I ran out the door. Dad was trying to help mom go and he was letting go. What an amazing act of love!

You will face that same time when you know you have to let go. I let my babies’s hands go because I knew God had a plan for their lives. I let my Mom and Dad’s hand go when they took their last breath. It was painful for me but they were just stepping into God’s plan for their eternity.

You will have the courage to let go. You will continue to live. There will be adjustments to make and you may step into a new role. Trust God with the plan for the rest of your life. I may have shared this song before, but I just felt like someone needed to hear it again.

Word for Today

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Prayer for Today

Our Father Who is in Heaven,

So many times I cling tightly to the ones I love. My desire is to protect them and hold them close. That will not always be possible. When the day comes that I have to let them go, give me the courage and strength to do it. Give me peace and grace on the days that the pain feels like it is overwhelming.

I will come running into your arms as a child and just let you hold me and comfort me. I thank you that you are my refuge when I am weak.

Amen

Song for Today

Along my own path of being a caregiver, I almost missed a valuable resource. Alzheimer’s is a terminal disease. The life expectancy can vary and be unpredictable. Due to this, I did not call hospice in as soon as I should have. Hospice is covered by medicare. You get a team. With both of my parents we were assigned a nurse, doctor, social worker, aids for bathing and personal care as well as a chaplain. You may need all of these or only a few. They have a wealth of knowledge. They enhance the care if your loved one is in a skilled care facility already. My mom was not just bathed. She was massaged and loved on. The extra tender physical touch provided comfort. When my mom took her last breath, a nurse was on hand to help me navigate embalming in one state and transporting to another for her funeral. The chaplain was at my dad’s side to be with him while I made arrangements. They were truly a blessing.

In your home, they take a load off of you. They can provide pain medications when they are needed. They can keep you aware of changes and guide you. No one is in a hurry. They are in the moment with you.

I urge you to ask around and plan ahead for when you will need them. Yesterday, I donned a mask and attended a local Alzheimer’s support group. As I walked to the door I was joined by a precious gentleman who had been his wife’s caregiver for 5 years. She had passed away in the early part of the pandemic and I had not seen him. He shared a little about her last weeks in our meeting. His eyes filled with tears when he talked about how much his hospice team meant to him. My mind was flooded with memories of how much they had meant to me as well during my losses.

I have to admit that I am not a rule breaker, but my heart overruled my mind and I gave him a huge hug when the meeting was over. He accepted it willingly.

Some of you may be needing a huge hug today. I am sending a virtual one. Help me out now and wrap your arms round yourself and feel the love.

Word for Today

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

Thank you for the many people you bring into my life to make the journey easier.

Amen

Song for Today

• 

• 

• 

• 

Most caregivers serve as an advocate for the one that they take care of. An advocate pleads the cause of another and looks out for their well being. This involves being their voice when it comes to medical care. In the past, I have advised to never leave someone with a memory disorder alone in the hospital. Staff tries; however, when things are busy they may not read the chart carefully. It happens. I have had nurses charge out of the room and then return humbled once they checked the charts to find what I was telling them was true.

You learn to send information ahead of the visit. You learn to stand firm but show respect, You have to be bold and speak up. A huge part of a physician’s exam depends on what you tell them. In the case of someone with Alzheimer’s, it is what the family or caregiver tells him or her.

Covid-19 has changed everything. Sometimes you are not allowed past the front door of the hospital. That is why having HIPPA papers listing you is so very critical. Nurses can only give information to the ones listed legally.

Leaving your loved one in the hands of others is heart rending. Fear can take a vise like grip due to the questions that torment you. At those times, I have found taking a pause to breathe deeply and turn to God in prayer helps me to calm down. I can then think more clearly and take action. When you call the hospital remember that honey works better than vinegar sometimes. Be polite. Remain calm. Thank them for taking your call. Acknowledge them by name while writing it down. This helps you know who was helpful and who was rude and seemed to care less. Try not to call just before or after a shift change. If calls are not taken or returned, contact a social or case worker. They can make things happen!

Show a little grace in this whole process. The doctors and nurses have been dealing with outraged and frightened family members for 8 very long months now. They have seen suffering like never before while living with their own fear of taking the covid virus home to their own family.

You do deserve answers. You do deserve respect. I get it! Just remember that kindness can work in your favor and lead to better care for your loved one.

When the world looks dark and you feel all alone, you are never alone. I have stood in a long, dark and silent hallway waiting to be let out in the wee hours of the morning after having to leave my mother at the geriatric psych unit due to out of control behavior. The nurse who evaluated her showed great compassion and allowed me to accompany her to her room once medication had calmed her. I was allowed to tuck her in and kiss her goodnight. Exhausted emotionally and physically is the only way to describe how I felt walking down the long hall to the emergency room. They had called ahead for them to let me out there since that is where my car was. I knocked on the door. A nurse who had been with us most of our time in the ER opened the door and stepped into the hall. She wrapped her arms around me and began to pray. God was reassuring me that I was truly not alone.

Sometimes we need an advocate. All of us have that in Jesus Christ. We have all sinned and fall short. God forgives us but he tells us we have this as well.

“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the righthand of God.” Colossians 3:1

Wow! It amazes me that I have an advocate seated at the right hand of God. He is pleading my cause and looking out for my well being. Now that is a reason to have hope in such a crazy world.

Word for Today

My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. I John 2:1

Prayer for Today,

Our Heavenly Father,

I come with a grateful heart today knowing you not only save me but you care about my life each and every day. You never leave me alone. You hear the words of your Son pleading my cause.

Help me to remember this when I am struggling.

Amen

Song for Today

I am hanging my gone fishing sign out for a couple of weeks. The pandemic we are in has caused us to choose to take a stay- cation. We have a few projects to work on this week. One is to get our boat ready to take on the river. We realized that it has been over two years since we took it out. Who knew what would crawl underneath the cover when we stored it in our barn. I had my husband search every nook and cranny to make sure the snake who left his skin behind had left himself!

What does this have to do with being a caregiver? It is to remind you that life goes on and you will have to make adjustments when your days of caregiving are over. You will reevaluate your life and goals. You will ask God to give you new dreams for your future. It is a strange place to be, but you can grow as a person in the process.

Fishing is something my husband and I have done since we starting dating as teenagers. Many seasons of work loads, raising children, doing ministry and caring for parents prevented us from indulging in this pleasure. We love getting away from everything and catching the fish. I have caught tiny and colorful sunfish as well as an almost 8 pound large mouth bass. There are huge catfish that are caught in the river near us. Fishing can be done with a simple cane pole and bobber, on a trotline, with a net, noodled by hand, with a fly rod or a fancy reel.

When our children were very young we went camping. After tying the canoe up and sending the children to the shore, my husband and I were walking toward them on the pier. He yelled for me to hold his feet and plopped onto his belly. There was a large bass just fanning his fins in the water. He quickly reached down and got it with his hands. We cooked it for dinner. When dinner was over we joined the circle around a campfire. All of the other campers were older adults. They had witnessed our fishing episode. Another couple had fished on the lake all day and joined us after we had all discussed the adventure. When they heard our story they asked “Did the hushpuppies and fries just float up too?”. Clearly, they thought we were all telling them a fish tale.

As I think about the different ways to fish, I think about how many times the word fish, fishing and fishers are used in the Bible. Some of these sounded like “fish tales” as well.

Jesus chose fishermen as his first disciples. He taught a parable using fish. He multiplied the fish to feed the crowds. He provided a gold coin through a fish to pay taxes. He cooked fish for his disciples after his resurrection. God taught Jonah a lesson in the belly of a fish. These are not tales they are the truth. God still calls us. He still provides for us. He even teaches us hard lessons sometimes.

As I have set time aside to fish, I have set time apart to seek God and ask Him about my future. We are never to old to be used by God. He can place new dreams in our hearts with a renewed passion to live a life that brings Him glory. When I am back, you may just hear some new fish tales. Who knows?

Be blessed and remember that God loves you deeply.

Word for Today

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

I praise you for your provision in my life. I place my hope and future in your hands. I come asking for guidance. Help me to grow and mature to carry out your plans for my life. Quiet my mind and help me to tune out distractions so I can hear your voice.

Amen

I walk in the Shoals Walk to end Alzheimer’s. My heart holds treasured memories of my mom who lived with this disease for many years. I have said goodbye way too early to friends I have met volunteering. I walk for them. I walk for the ones I know living with the disease. I walk with the knowledge that someone is diagnosed with this terminal disease every 65 seconds. I walk with hope for a cure since I could one day face their situation.

If you are reading this and feel inspired, form a team where you live and help us fund research to find a cure! It looks different this year since we can’t all gather to walk in one large group. We will be walking though.

If you would like to donate, you can go to act.alz.org and donate to my team Linda’s Memory Keepers or find another team to donate to. This can be any amount. Last year I reached champion status. Help me become a grand champion this year!

I do blog; however, I have chosen not to use facebook, instagram, twitter, tiktok, etc. I am not a fossil (yes, some of you were thinking that) nor would you want to see me dance! I just prefer speaking face to face, through text or by phone. This is a disadvantage when raising funds but one I accept.

If you are on social media, help us get the message out about our walk!