Caregiving has levels. You usually enter in and see gradual changes much like walking into the ocean. Gradually health deteriorates and you find yourself getting deeper and deeper. Before you realize it, you are swimming in demands for your time, energy and attention.

At other times things change rapidly due to an accident or sudden illness. Waves wash over you and it is all you can to to hold you and the one you care for above water. The caregiving for someone with Alzheimer’s or other related disorders never eases because of improvement or recovery. The demands and level of care only intensify.

To survive this level of caregiving you will have choices to make. One choice is to include family members and close friends. Each one will have a role to play. You must ask who is willing to help and how they can help.

Begin by thinking of the person needing care and yourself inside a circle. That circle is surrounded by a larger circle. Then they are other circles as you move out.

The caregiver in the inner circle is the primary caregiver. This person is usually the spouse or most responsible relative. You will provide most of the daily care.

The second ring of the circle holds the periodic caregiver. This is a family member or friend who provides support to the primary caregiver. They usually see the need and assist without having to be asked. They should make themselves available whenever help is needed.

Next you have the peripheral caregivers. These are people who make occasional visits. They may assist with specific needs when asked.

Finally, you include (or try to include) the passive caregivers. These are the family and friends who either are in denial or forget that you are shouldering a heavy load. I once heard them referred to as seagulls. They fly in, poop on all you are doing and then promptly fly away again. Share information with them when asked. Forgive when you feel they have neglected you and your loved one and seem uncaring. It isn’t worth letting these feelings fester and turn to bitterness. Accept that you are doing your best and try not to judge.

Once you know where the family members and friends line up in the circle, you may decide you have to enlist professional caregivers. These include trained and untrained care providers that you must pay.

Outside of this circle are options such as respite care and finally an assisted living or memory care unit. When you feel like you are sinking, let them be your lifeguard. There is no shame in making choices that allow you to survive.

Only those inside the first rings of the circle should help you make those tough decisions. It is wise to seek advice from clergy and physicians when you need it. You are strong and capable but you will need help.

Song for Today

Word for Today

Plans fail for lack of counsel,but with many advisers they succeed. Proverbs 15:22

Prayer for Today

Heavenly Father,

You know the circumstances I am in at this time. I humble myself and admit I cannot do this alone. I need you first and foremost as my counselor. Give me wisdom as to who I should include in my circle of care. Show me those who will stand beside me. You sent Aaron and Hur when Abraham grew weary and tired. I know that you will send the help I need as well.

I praise you for being my strength when I grow weary. Help me to accept that not everyone will meet my expectations. Forgive me when I forget this. Guard my heart from bitterness and anger.

Amen

This is not a post about house flipping or remodeling even though I have a few of those under my belt. That is another post for another day. Today we will be discussing what happens or should happen in this room. If you have ever potty trained a child you know the frustration in the beginning and the happy dance in the end. Unfortunately, as a caregiver for someone with Alzheimer’s there is no happy dance in the end. Keeping calm through the problems with urinary tract infections and incontinence can be challenging.

A piece of advice I offer all caregivers of those with dementia is always consider testing for urinary tract infections when there is a sudden behavior change. Thankfully, I had an experienced emergency room team when I had my first encounter with this. Anger and aggression from a usually passive person caused the assisted living to contact me. No one had informed me that uti’s often lead to this. Delirium can result in as little as one to two days.

The bacteria in the urine spreads to the bloodstream. When this crosses into the brain, confusion and other cognitive difficulties can happen. In a brain that is already compromised, this may be worsened.

There are other symptoms to clue you in. These include foul smelling urine and frequent needs to urinate. Under the advice of an experienced elder care nurse, I learned to avoid catheters with my father. He had urinary incontinence and was on lasix. Due to mild dementia from years of diabetes he didn’t always make it to the bathroom or feel the sensation we do. Her advice was to avoid catheters because they cause frequent urinary tract infections.

If you find yourself suspecting a uti, ask the doctor to test. Please convince them the patient does not need a foley catheter. If you hate them, just imagine being in pain and confusion and having this happen to you. You have to speak up as the advocate!

Hopefully you will never need this information but I am adding it if you do. Not all incontinent products are the same. Trial and error resulted in finding the brand and size that worked best for my dad. We settled on a brand that several nursing homes use. I then ordered them in bulk online to save money. In our situation we had to use overnight both day and night. Toileting every 2 hours helped. Order water proof chair pads and mattress protectors.

We used an adult version of the diaper genie to help with odor control. My husband enjoys hunting so he alerted me of a laundry product and room spray called Dead Down Wind. Don’t laugh. It works.

If you are a caregiver long enough you may face adult diapers. I was in a support meeting years ago and met two incredible women. They were both in their 80’s and the sole caregivers for their husbands. I smiled to myself when I heard them discuss how shaving cream helps clean dried poop off easily. The idea was planted in my brain and I saved it in case I ever needed it.

Now, how do I find a word for the day, song for the day and prayer for the day for this post? Hmm, this may require another cup of coffee and potty break.

Word for Today

Blessed are those who find wisdom,
    those who gain understanding,
for she is more profitable than silver
    and yields better returns than gold. Proverbs 3:13-14

Song for Today

ok…I must confess. I was amazed at all of the potty training songs videos. My poor children didn’t have all of these fun videos and songs. I had to include just one to make you smile.

This song is a reminder that even when things get tough and the night is long our hope lives on!

Prayer for Today

Our heavenly Father,

You alone know the struggles we will face as caregivers. We ask that you give us wisdom to understand what our loved one needs. Watching them regress makes us aware of just how many life skills they lose. Help us to treat them with dignity and honor even when we must provide even the most basic of care such as with a babe.

When our hearts ache and long to have them as they once were we will cling to our hope in you that lives on. We praise you for this hope that helps us carry on.

Amen

Merriam Webster defines recess as follows:

1. the act of receding
2. a hidden, secret, or secluded place
3. indention or cleft
4. a suspension of business

As children we all knew recess as play time. As adults we tend to forget about how refreshing that break in our day was. My challenge to you as a caregiver is to make a list of what refreshes you and keep it handy for when you need it.

I will share part of my list:

• listen to praise music
• enjoy a cup of hot tea or coffee
• jump in the pool
• pick a bouquet of flowers
• take a nap
• dark chocolate

Go ahead. Grab a pen and start your list. When you are finished, do something on the list. You deserve a break today, so get up and get away. Please avoid the place your mind went to and grab a healthy snack instead though.

After one stressful week when my caregiving was long distance, I was exhausted. The drive back home was 6 hours that day because traffic was heavy. I pulled into an outlet shopping center to use the restroom and walk in a safe place. I noticed a vending machine and a massage chair in the restroom/refreshment area. I was so exhausted that I didn’t care what anyone else thought. This old girl dug in her purse for a few dollars, grabbed an ice cream sandwich from the vending machine, plopped into the massage chair and closed her eyes. Three minutes of bliss might have turned into three hours of bliss had I not run out of one dollar bills and was afraid of falling asleep.

Caregivers cannot afford luxury spas and have little time to enjoy such pleasures. It is important to carve out time to be refreshed though. You can not function as a caregiver without having a retreat to run to at times.

Find a symposium or conference for caregivers in your area if you can. Sometimes these are free for caregivers. If you happen to live in the northwest corner of Alabama there is one the first Friday in November. This year it is November 1st at Cross Point Church. The Walk to End Alzheimers in Florence is Sept 15th. Both are excellent places to meet other caregivers.

Time for recess! You need it my friend.

Word for Today

But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. Psalm 59:16

Song for Today ( fun song reminding us of the hope God gives)

Prayer for Today

Our Heavenly Father,

Today we just pause to thank you for the hope you offer us. We are grateful for having your arms as a safe place to run to when we need a break. Refresh our hearts and souls so that we can carry out your work in a way to bring you glory.

Renew our strength. Restore our joy. Send us out again fueled with your love to pour out.

Amen

I have stressed the importance of having a plan. Personally, I function well that way. A friend of mine who was a caregiver reminded me of the importance of remaining flexible. The two go hand in hand. With Alzheimer’s you have to adjust each day. When you fail to do so, it can be painful.

When writing I sometimes allow thoughts to sit and simmer in draft form while I wordsmith and reflect. The thoughts above were driven home in a real way yesterday afternoon. My plan was to take my 6 month old German shepherd for a quick trip out to potty. When I tugged on his leash and said “let’s go”, he heard time for a ride in the utv. In his excited state he bolted in the opposite direction of where I was going. My flexibility was no match for his 65 pounds of energy. I am sitting here writing with my knee elevated due to the inflicted pain.

While consistent schedules are important for those with dementia, we must remain flexible. Bathing, dressing and preparing to go out can be similar to leaving the house with an infant or toddler. Incontinence occurs and you are right back in the bathroom starting over again.

My children liked to explore when we took walks. I usually allowed this. As a seasoned grandparent I saw these pauses as wonderful opportunities to join in on their curiosity. Stopping to smell the roses keeps harmony and peace. With the one you care for it is just as critical to slow down and let them enjoy the simple pleasures they still can.

Don’t allow the interruptions to your plans to become stumbling blocks. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that being flexible will make life easier for both of you. You may even find enjoyment in the change of plans.

If we are observant we can anticipate mood swings and avoid conflicts. This is a part of being flexible. Learn to read facial expressions and body language. This clues you in on whether your plans for the day need to be adjusted. As I mentioned in a previous post, an excellent book about learning these skills is Learning to Speak Alzheimer’s.

It is important to know your limitations though. When the tension becomes too intense even rubber bands snap. If you have ever had this happens, you know it stings. There is a breaking point when even flexibility requires some assistance. Don’t get there. Ask for help when you need it. There are people who just need to feel needed. Let them know you need them.

Change demands flexibility. When we embrace the changes through joy and pain it makes life smoother than resisting the change. Always remember that God is steadfast and even though we face changing situations, God’s faithfulness does not change.

Word for Today

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear Heavenly Father,

Some days when changes seem to turn everything upside down, I hold on to your faithfulness. Give me patience as I strive to be flexible. Forgive me for losing sight of what is truly important. Help me to remain calm when things become tense. Help me to trust that others can offer help.

I do praise you for your steadfast faithfulness even when I feel stretched to my limits. Hold me together and reassure me that You are here with us.

Amen

This is a big question all caregivers face. At some point you find yourself walking around with your brain in the fog. You long for understanding. You long to know if you are doing the right thing. You long to find balance. You long to know that things will someday get better.

In the beginning I only saw the progression of Alzheimer’s disease as it robbed me of the relationship I had with my mom. I missed having conversations with her. I missed walking into her home and seeing her cleaning everything in sight. I missed eating her home cooked meal. I missed what had been our “normal” since I was born.

Then one day I realized I was allowing the fact that it wouldn’t return to normal to rob me of joy. It could be better if I relinquished my ideas and began to celebrate what I had left of my mom. We rocked on the front porch. I took her shopping and out for ice cream. As she became more child like I got a glimpse into a more carefree person who loved cookies and being silly. `

With filters no longer blocking her actions and words, I discovered that she loved to hum when we were in the car. Her fear of what others might think had obviously prevented this in the past. Little moments of joy kept me believing it could get better.

The heartache of sitting by her bedside for days as I bid her a final goodbye left pain that made me ask again, “When will it get better?”. Accepting that mom was no longer in pain and completely healed caused my focus to shift. I accepted that my life had to continue. I made a playhouse for a granddaughter. I watched football each weekend with my dad until he joined Mom in heaven. Then I focused on remodeling their home so that they would have loved the way it looked before being sold.

There are now days that I miss them terribly but things have gotten better. God continues to be faithful to heal my heart. His faithfulness meets us on the days we are asking, “When will it get better?”. Trust that He sees beyond the fog we get lost in.

I am reminded of a flight I was on. My husband was kind enough to let me have the window seat. It had been cloudy when we began the flight. At one point our plane seemed to be sandwiched between two layers of clouds. Brilliant light bounced around as it reflected and it was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. God will allow you to see beautiful things if you keep your focus on Him while waiting for things to get better.

Word for Today

For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. Psalm 33:4

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

You know me like no one does. You know my doubts, my fears, my weaknesses and my longing for things to get better. On the days that I don’t see your faithfulness please hold me close and know that I do still believe. I believe you are working and you have a plan for my life.

Thank you for not turning away when I have questions. Help me to trust you that things will get better even if your better is not what I had in mind.

Amen

Today’s post is actual a handout I put together after making several emergency and hospital trips with my parents. Things can happen fast and it helps to be prepared. Remaining calm while being strong can be exhausting. Hopefully this will help you.

Hospital Emergencies: What You Can Do Now

Planning ahead is key to making an unexpected or planned trip to the hospital easier for you and your care partner. Here is what you should do now.

Register your relative for a MedicAlert® + Alzheimer’s Association Safe Return® bracelet through your local Alzheimer’s Association chapter. People who are lost may be taken to an emergency room. This bracelet will speed up the process of reconnecting you with your care partner. 

Know who you can depend on. You need a family member or trusted friend to stay with your care partner when he or she is admitted to the emergency room or hospital.

Have someone meet you at the hospital if possible so that one person can take care of the paperwork and the other can stay with your care partner.

Pack an Emergency Bag Containing the Following:

Personal Information Sheet

• Create a document that includes the following information about your care partner:

Preferred name and language (some people may revert to native languages in late-stage Alzheimer’s disease)

• Contact information for doctors, key family members, clergy and helpful friends (also program into cell phone, if applicable)

•    Illness or medical conditions

All current medicines and dosage instructions

Any medicines that have ever caused a bad reaction

            Any allergies to medicines or foods; special diets

            Need for glasses, dentures or hearing aids

            Degree of impairment and amount of assistance needed for activities

Paperwork

Include copies of important documents such as:

• Insurance cards (include policy numbers and pre-authorization phone numbers)
• Medicaid and/or Medicare cards
• Durable Power of Attorney, Health Care Power of Attorney, Living Will and/or an original DNR (do not resuscitate) order

Supplies for the Care Partner

• A change of clothing, toiletries and personal medications
• Extra adult briefs (e.g., Depends), if usually worn. These may not be available in the emergency room if needed
• Moist hand wipes such as Wet Ones; plastic bags for soiled clothing and/or adult briefs
• Reassuring or comforting objects

Supplies for the Caregiver

• A change of clothing, toiletries and personal medications
• Pain medicine such as Advil, Tylenol or aspirin. A trip to the emergency room may take longer than you think. Stress can lead to a headache or other symptoms.
• A pad of paper and pen to write down information and directions given to you by hospital staff. Keep a log of your care partner’s symptoms and problems. You may be asked the same questions by many people. Show them what you have written instead of repeating your answers.
• A sealed snack such as a pack of crackers and a bottle of water or juice for you and your care partner. You may have to wait for quite a while.
• A small amount of cash.
• A note on the outside of the emergency bag to remind you to take your cell phone and charger with you.

By taking these steps in advance, you can reduce the stress and confusion that often accompany a hospital visit, particularly if the visit is an unplanned trip to the emergency room.

At the Emergency Room

A trip to the emergency room may fatigue or even frighten your care partner. There are some important things to remember:

Be patient. It could be a long wait if the reason for your visit is not life-threatening.

Recognize that results from lab tests take time.

Offer physical and emotional comfort and verbal reassurance to your relative. Stay calm and positive. How you are feeling will get absorbed by others.

Realize that just because you do not see staff at work does not mean they are not working.

Be aware that emergency room staff often have limited training in Alzheimer’s  or related dementia.    

Do not leave the emergency room to go home without a follow-up plan. If you are sent home, make sure you have all instructions for follow-up care.

Hospital Stays

You are your loved one’s advocate…never leave them alone.  

Establish a support team.  

• Communications – you alert one person who passes information on to others.  Silence your phone if possible.
• Line up relief persons to allow you to rest
• Have someone bring you healthy snacks and drinks

Helpful Hints

Be polite with staff and they will appreciate you being there to assist. 

Speak to doctors in the hall when possible.  

Eliminate television if it is agitating to the patient.

Limit visitors.

Do not hesitate to ask questions.

Work with the social worker.

Watch for signs of pain and ask for medication if you sense it is needed.

Ask for a cot, pillow, blanket, etc.

Word for Today

But I will restore you to health
    and heal your wounds,’
declares the Lord,

Jeremiah 30:17

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Heavenly Father,

Sometimes we find ourselves afraid and alone when crisis hits. We thank you for always being with us through the good days and the tough days. Help us to learn to trust you to walk with us even when we face uncertainty as caregivers. Give us strength and peace so we can make the important decisions that arise.

Order the steps of physicians and therapists who step in to provide care in emergencies. Show us how to be an effective advocate while remaining steady and full of grace.

We rest in knowing you are there with us.

Amen

Photo by Nathan Anderson on Unsplash

When someone with Alzheimer’s attempts to communicate we must listen with all of our senses. They will slowly regress from struggling with the right word to not being able to speak in some cases. That is when we watch their facial expressions and actions. Most of the time they are trying so hard to communicate and we don’t understand them. This leads to frustration and possible anger.

In early stages, they can still communicate fairly well. They may struggle finding the right word or describe an item when they cannot find the word. They may lose their train of thought. They will repeat themselves. Give them time to find their words.

As the disease progresses the skills will dwindle and you will have to make an extra effort to have effective communication. They may understand more than you realize. Continue to talk to them. Slow your speech down. Keep sentence and instructions simple. They may withdraw but they still need you to talk to them. Always treat them with dignity and respect.

Understanding the stage of the disease makes it easier to communicate. For example, yesterday I volunteered for story time at a local assisted living facility. This is one I visit often. One of the ladies has quit talking but when I walk in she rushes toward me, takes my hand and smiles. She was a school teacher. I had an 11 year old with me yesterday. When I introduced the two, my friend’s eyes danced and she broke into a huge beautiful smile. The 11 year old’s mother asked her what grade she had taught. Her smile got bigger and she began to laugh as she kept pointing at the girl. Her answer was clear to all of us. She had taught children that age. My heart was full because I had never heard her laugh before.

There are resources to explain the stages and how to better communicate. One book that I find helpful is Learning to Speak Alzheimer’s by Joanne Koenig Coste. It is critical to watch behavior and seek the reason behind it. In the books she mentions learning to read their eyes. Emotions are expressed through the eyes. When we identify the emotion we can come alongside and validate it. If they seem frustrated, it is alright to sit beside them and say, “I know it is frustrating to not be able to tell me exactly what you want to with your words. I will try my best to understand”.

Parents learn to understand an infant’s needs by their cry. There is a hungry cry, an angry cry, etc. This is a skill mastered through patience, love and attentiveness. Someone with Alzheimer’s deserves that same patience, love and attentiveness. They feel helpless much like a new baby.

Creating a calm and safe environment makes communication easier. Limit distractions and noise pollution. Make sure you have adequate lighting and maintain eye contact. Keep the room at a comfortable temperature and toilet on a regular schedule. These sound like strange things ,to relate to communication, but they matter greatly.

There will be days that you simply cannot understand their words or behavior. This can be frustrating and heartbreaking. Tell them I really want to understand and I know you are frustrated. I am too. Then try to simple sit by them and hold their hand. Reassure them of how much you love them. If tears come, let them.

Song for Today (lighthearted after such a serious post)

Word for Today (back to serious)

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, My rock and My redeemer. Psalm 19:14

Prayer for Today

Dear Heavenly Father,

We come today asking for your guidance as we communicate with the one we care for. As we search your Words and meditate on them give us wisdom and understanding. When we simply cannot understand give us compassion as we show love anyway. Help us to be patient and kind when tensions mount.

On the days that we dissolve into tears help us to remember that you see those tears and wrap your loving arms around us both.

Amen

Pure exhaustion after heroic deeds can lead to emotional overload. If you find yourself in this place then you are not the only one who has been here. On the day my mom passed away I was ready to collapse. I had been by her bedside for ten days and nights. This was a choice I made because it was where my heart lead me to be. I had survived on very little sleep and was trying to help my dad accept the fact that Mom was leaving us. Dad was living in an assisted living near me and we were having to plan to travel for the funeral service back in their home town.

As soon as Mom passed I had to comfort dad, make travel plans, notify family, do laundry and pack. I could barely function. A fear of not being able to make it through the next few days tormented me. My precious husband took my phone, walked me to our bed and I was asleep before he walked out of the room. After sleep, a meal and shower I was refreshed enough to keep going.

Many of you put in overtime as a caregiver. Some days are intense and challenging. You may become fearful of not being able to maintain the pace. You may fear the coming grief. You may fear life after caregiving.

There was a man in the Bible named Elijah who had performed mighty feats for God. He was so overcome with fear after one of these that he ran for his life. He even prayed to die. God sent an angel to nourish him and he went into a cave. While in the cave there was a mighty wind, an earthquake and a fire. Then finally he heard the still small voice of God. He was challenged and basically told by God that he still had things to do.

I survived and made it through the service and the passing of my dad. God refreshed me and reminded me that I still have things to do. God will refresh you and erase your fears just like He did mine and Elijah’s. Just trust and wait on the still small voice.

Word for Today

May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Our Most Loving Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the refreshing when we feel as if we have given our all. Hear our cry for a little hope, a little peace and a whole lot of love. When we are ready to throw in the towel, remind us through your still small voice that we still have things to do. Reassure our hearts that you are enough and we can face our fears.

Thank you for choosing to work through me as I follow after you.

Amen

Imagine riding in one of these colorful balloons. That is as far as it gets with me. The very thought of riding in a car that drives itself scares me. Frankly, I just am not that adventurous and like to know I have some control. My comfort zone has perimeters that I like to stay within. My husband accuses me of being a very rigid rule follower. I don’t enter through exit doors. Yes, I guess that makes me weird.

There are days that I stay so busy just doing the necessary that I don’t have any free time to write. Prayer time happens as I make jelly, can tomatoes, freeze berries and tend to animals. We currently have 2 dogs, 12 hens, one rooster and 11 rabbits. Moving to the farm is wonderful but it takes work. Today I knew I needed to carve out a few minutes to share my thoughts.

We have big dreams for our farm. Dreaming was put on hold when I was an active caregiver. Most of you find yourselves with your dreams being placed on hold or even shattered. This often leaves one feeling empty. As I reflected on this I thought about Joni Eareckson Tada and her incredible testimony. She allowed God to turn her shattered dreams into a beautiful ministry.

I am finding myself in a place of transformation. Making myself available to caregivers and offering encouragement and tips part of picking up my shattered dreams. I am making myself vulnerable and honest so that you know you can dream again as well.

It is so reassuring to know that when I feel empty God is the auto pilot determining my steps. If I keep taking each step day after day the empty feelings will fade and I will begin to notice the moments of joy that can occur in the ordinary and mundane tasks at hand. God will put a song in my heart and make the load lighter. The dreaming returns and I feel excitement.

My hope for you is that when life overwhelms you, you will look to God and say “take over”. God still has plans for you while you are a caregiver. He is shaping and molding you through the process. You are learning more about yourself and growing. Remember Joseph had a dream but God took him through a process and then fulfilled the dream.

Word for Today

My heart, O God, is steadfast; I will sing and make music with all my soul.

Psalm 108:1

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear Heavenly Father, You are the God of all my days even the ones that don’t feel great. We are so thankful that when we struggle with our shattered dreams, you are lovingly holding us in your embrace. You remind us that this life has trouble but you are the one who stills our doubts and sorrow. Give us a song in our hearts as we think about the tender grace and mercy you show us.

Amen

Tender petals represent gentle touch.

Water drops represent tears of pain and joy.

Leaves represent outstretched arms that care.

Thorns represent the pain we feel.

Stems represent the strength required to support it all.

Today I want to share from my heart.  On the day that my mother received her diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease I knew it already, but hearing the words from the physician’s mouth seemed to drive it home.  As I walked to my car I was struggling. My phone had a message from my husband asking me to call him as soon as possible. That was highly unusual but I was hours away and heading to my parent’s home after the appointment.  So I called him.

HIs first words were, “Honey, I hate telling you this now but I am losing my job.  I have nine months with this company”. For a few brief moments it felt as if all of the air in the car was gone and I felt fear overcome me.  Then I cried out to God and knew everything was going to be alright.

There were moments that my faith grew faint such as the evening I had to admit my mom to the hospital due to a culmination of a horrible week for her.  We had moved her to an assisted living memory care unit. She developed a urinary tract infection and yeast infection within days of the move. This resulted in uncontrollable behavior.  I sat in the emergency room in the middle of the night fighting tears for her sake. They allowed me to stay with her until she was calm. I tucked her into bed, gave her a kiss and walked away with a broken heart.  I blamed myself for moving her.

When I walked back through the hospital to the emergency room entrance to leave, a nurse opened the door to let me through.  Instead of stepping aside she walked into the hallway and wrapped her arms around me. Then she began to pray. That was the beginning of God showering me with love on the long journey that lay ahead for my family.

Tears did flow many days when I poured my heart to God.  I always felt as if I was failing my parents, my husband, my children and grandchildren.  My emotions and physical strength were stretched to their limits. Often a card, word of encouragement or act of kindness would come reassuring me that everything was going to be alright.

I bid my parents a final goodbye as a stronger woman than I was before.  The trials had produced fruits of patience, compassion and gentleness and had transformed me to be more than I was before.

I promised God that He would receive all of the glory for seeing me through. This thing I know beyond any shadow of a doubt, He will see you through as well.  Give him your fear, anxiety, anger and pain. He stands with open arms waiting for you. He wants to make you stronger than you were before.

Word for Today
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. Psalm 28:7

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear Heavenly Father, you are our strength. Today we ask for faith to believe and strength to continue as a loving caregiver. Grant us patience, tenderness and encouragement as we go about our daily tasks. When we need it, please send reminders that you are with us and care deeply for us.

We thank you that you hold our broken hearts on the rough days and put joy in them on the good days. When we feel the most fragile you are where we can open ourselves up and be honest in a safe place. Continue to hold us in that safe place throughout our journey.

We will give you the glory. Amen