Today’s post will be twofold. First I want to share how you can help me in my work. Then we will visit how we can help each other to remain hopeful and remain strong as we adjust to change around us.

Some of you may be new readers due to being at home more. Part of my work with the Shoals Walk to End Alzheimer’s includes sharing the mission of what the Alzheimer’s Association does. Today my buddy and I would like to share about Trial Match.

Trial match is a free and easy to use service. The data base contains more than 250 studies open to people with dementia, caregivers and healthy volunteers so they can be matched with both pharmacological (drug) and non-pharmacological (non-drug) studies. These studies provide insight to developing treatments and possibly a cure one day.

It is simple to do. Check it out at https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/research_progress/clinical-trials/about-clinical-trials

We need representation from all communities.

• Older African-Americans are about twice as likely to have Alzheimer’s or other dementias as older whites.
• Hispanics are about one and one-half times as likely to have Alzheimer’s or other dementias as older whites.

Alzheimer’s crosses all lines just like this coronavirus. The more we know about it, the easier it will be to treat or cure. We need to be able to address the stress on caregivers as well. Thank you for considering getting involved.

Now for part two…

“Christians are like the several flowers in a garden that have each of them the dew of heaven, which, being shaken with the wind, they let fall at each other’s roots, whereby they are jointly nourished, and become nourishers of each other.” John Bunyan

When life becomes challenging, we often see the very best and very worst of humanity. We must be careful to look for the best and offer our best in these times. Each of us have unique talents and gifts to share. We can use these to nourish the hearts and souls of others. First, we must spend time with God to find the dew from heaven that we need to share. Next, we need to look for ways we can reach out to others. God created us and has instilled creativity in us.

Here are just a few of the ideas I have read about.

• sewing masks
• singing to neighbors
• posted videos
• shopping for someone considered high risk
• praying in hospital parking lots
• buying meals for front line workers

I am truly missing being able to visit in the assisted living. I may drive over and wave at some through the windows this afternoon.

My husband and I have been blessed by meeting with our small group from church online and participating in live worship and prayer times being shared through members of our church.We are praying about what God is asking of us during this time. I think each of us has something to offer and encourage you to find what you can do. As I stated in earlier posts, caregivers have to learn to be flexible and adapt to change. Now all of us are accepting that as a part of our lives.

Word for Today

We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,  do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully. Romans 12: 6-8

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear Heavenly Father,

Today we come to you as the source of our hope and strength. As we sit at your feet, refuel us until we are overflowing with love for others. Then open our eyes to opportunities to pour into the lives of others. We don’t want to cower in fear behind closed doors. We desire to use that time to hear you speak into our lives.

You have given each of us creativity. Show us how to use it to bless others. Help us to be flexible and adapt to ways of doing ministry outside of the box.

We ask that you embrace those who are totally isolated. They long to feel the touch of another human, but this is not safe. Remind them that you do have them engraved in the palm of your hand.

We thank you that through all of the changes in this world, You remain the same!

Amen

We have been practicing social distancing around my home. I drive the truck with hubby and our dog riding in the back. I fish from one end of the pier while hubby fishes from the other, He mixes soil for soil blocks in the yard and I sit on the porch and plant seeds. Seriously, we are careful when we go into the community but living in the country makes it a little easier.

We are high tech country dwellers. My husband works from home all the time so the current situation is not new for us. I have stayed connected with volunteer activities and church through you tube, zoom and bluejeans while wearing jeans. Being a true southern girl makes me miss hugs though.

The changes we are facing each day can produce fear and anxiety. I know some of you have family members who have the coronavirus. Your pain is real. It can be scary as well.

We can gain perspective from a woman named Corrie Ten Boom. Her deep wisdom came with the cost of journeying through great pain in her life. She spoke wise words that remind us that God uses all we walk through in this world for greater purposes and good, more than we could possibly ever imagine.  Spend a few minutes reflecting on her words below.

“If you look at the world, you’ll be distressed. If you look within, you’ll be depressed. But if you look at Christ, you’ll be at rest.”

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”

If you know God and have accepted Christ, you have hope. If this is something you do not understand, please leave me a comment and contact information. I would love to share where my hope comes from. Each of us have our own stories and mine includes one that has God woven throughout it. He has been my strength in the toughest times. Being a follower of Christ does not mean life is perfect. It means God shows grace and mercy for my imperfections.

If you have allowed this world to lure you away from Christ, now is the time to come home. God has been waiting patiently for you. He never made the choice to keep you at a distance. You made the choice to try to keep Him at one.

Word for Today

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. I Peter 5:10

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

We come to you today with open hearts. We know that we are in uncertain times. As life crashes in around us, we need you more than ever.

Forgive us for trying to do things our own way. If we have strayed, we ask that you draw close to us as we draw close to you. If we have remained close to you, show us how to give hope to those who have strayed or have never known you.

As deep calls to deep, we cry out to you. Heal our hearts, heal our bodies and heal our land. We will give you the glory.

In Jesus name we pray.

Amen

Today is a beautiful day at my house. The sun is shining. Gentle breezes are playing a song on my wind chimes. Forsythia, bride’s veil, tulips and redbud trees are blooming. Choosing to step outdoors and soak these in helps me escape the news that is changing each hour.

I know people are hurting and many of you may be stuck indoors. Our surroundings cannot define us. We have to adjust attitudes, face our emotions and survive. These are tall orders when our lives are so disrupted.

I want to change the order of my usual post and go right to the word.

Word for Today

May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

Now more than ever we need grace, encouragement, hope and strength. Accepting these gifts from God will enable us to carry out good deeds and speak healing words. I have been longing to gather my children and grandchildren under my wings as a mother hen gathers her chicks. That is not possible. If it was, I cannot protect them from all harm. In Psalms we are offered protection.

“He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”

Know that I am praying for all of my readers. We are not alone even though many of us are becoming more isolated each day. Our heartstrings stretch across the world as we join in prayer and fellowship online. Please send me comments and stories to pass on about where you are finding hope and how you are staying connected.

When you live on a farm you can find lots to do while isolated. A few years ago when we felt God leading us to this place, I struggled with accepting it. Today I am so thankful for the opportunity we have to grow our own food and having food to share with friends and neighbors. I can praise God for rich soil that was fertilized by cows years ago ( the mature used to stink!), rain to fill the rain barrels (even with the mud) and sunshine to power the hen house door ( we didn’t like having to get up with the rooster to open it).

Be blessed as you find things to do.

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

We thank you that you are our place of shelter. We may be facing difficult times but you are the place we run to for protection. As we take time to dig into your Word and stand on your promises we ask that you meet with us.

We ask that you bring the peace we know to our friends and family that are struggling.

Amen

This blog will always be dedicated to bring hope to caregivers; however, the current crisis over coronavirus has caused me to shift the focus to offering hope in trying times. I listened this week as people who have been forced to isolate in their homes have held virtual meetings. They spoke of frustration, loss of patience with children and fear of the uncertainties. They spoke of returning to normal again. After listening to this over and over, I decided to speak out. In one meeting I interrupted to remind them that this is what caregivers face every day. My hope is that by inviting people who simply need hope to this blog, they will catch a vision of stepping up to help caregivers when their lives return to normal. A caregiver knows that their life simply must adjust to a new normal every single day.

So for the dear caregivers out there, I will continue to be here for you. For those looking for hope, I am glad you have joined us. Feel free to read through prior posts if you want to learn a little more about care giving and the challenges caregivers face. Tips and stories are shared as well as scriptures, songs and prayers.

The world defines hope as a desire or dream. We have become so accustomed to hope being dreams of better jobs, a new car, friends, vacations, etc. These things are not bad in themselves. We must nor forget that life is so much deeper than those dreams.

For Christians hope goes so far beyond what the human mind can desire or dream of. It even goes beyond human life. God clearly tells us that each of us has an appointed time to die. As I sat by each of my parents when they transitioned from earth to heaven, I realized their hope in Christ was realized. They had no more pain, tears and suffering to endure. While I felt the pain and shed tears I also held to my hope that this was just a temporary goodbye.

We are seeing many deaths across the world at this time. People are not being given the privilege of sitting by their loved one’s side in some cases. We can find comfort in knowing that God has not forsaken them and they are not alone. Our hope in Christ reassures us that this life on earth is not our eternal life. We may see illness, suffering, heartache and disappointment but these are not forever. We just have to persevere with an unwavering faith and let the hope we have shine brightly to those needing hope!

By linking our hearts in prayer, sending words of encouragement over the phone and online, donating to food drives and standing firm in our faith, we can make it through these challenges we now face. Carving out a few minutes to just listen to God can inspire wisdom and direction on how to spark hope in someone else.

My prayers are with the families with loved ones in nursing homes, assisted living facilities and hospitals. I pray for you, your loved one and the heroes on the front lines fighting to keep them safe.

Please feel free to share comments and stories. Some may be passed along as we unite together in hope!

Word for Today

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

Our hope is in you! We hold onto you as the world around us is shaken. We stand believing that you are our healer, provider, comforter and safe haven from the storms of life.

Amen

You may have read the title of today’s post and sighed. You could write your own book about the struggles in this area. Social isolation can lead to heart disease, depression, cognitive decline and other serious health issues. As a person who cares for another you need to be healthy. My normal advice would be to get out and have visitors as often as possible. Presently, that is simply not possible.

With the current scare of the coronavirus many will be staying home more than usual. The idea of more social isolation has caused me to focus on what might break up the lonely feelings. For the first time in their lives many young people are facing what you live in each and every day. If any good can come from this, I hope that eyes are opened to just how difficult it is for in home caregivers to make sacrifices year round.

To all of my readers I stress that the most important thing is to remember that God is in control. We need to remember where to place our hope. Something we can all do is pray.

Below are a few of the ideas I came up with to fill time and stay safe.

Ask children and grandchildren to share videos online.

Watch fun videos and avoid the news. Checking updates is ok but you do not want to live in fear.

Limit visitors but do not refuse offers to buy groceries and medication so you can stay in and safe.

Take walks in the backyard.

Listen to uplifting music.

Play games, even if they can’t follow the rules.

For all of my dear friends working in the nursing homes, assisted livings and hospitals, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I love each of you. Be strong and keep your faith. You and home caregivers are on the front lines of this battle to protect those at high risk.

Thank you for showing up each and every day!

Word for Today

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

We come to you today with heavy hearts. The coronavirus is sweeping through the world interrupting life as we have known it. As persons who has been caring for another person daily, we have already made changes that those around us are just now experiencing.

Help us to be strong and steadfast as the world around us becomes frantic and fearful. We have seen your faithfulness in our lives already. We understand isolation and medical crisis better than most. Let us be examples of standing in hope and faith when things spin out of control.

We ask that you bring peace and comfort to those around us. We thank you for being the refuge we need from the storms of life.

Amen

Our Shoals Walk to End Alzheimer’s committee had fun with friends at Color for a Cause.

Chameleons come in a wide range of colors and some of the species can change their color. Scientists think mood, temperature and social communication may be why they change their color. Too bad the one we care for doesn’t change colors to alert us of their mood for the day. That would make our job so much easily.

I can imagine this chart.

Blue ……………. calm and peaceful.

Green……………Oscar the grouch day (Be Warned)

Yellow…………..cheerful

Red………………..angry and aggressive

Black……………..sad and weepy

Gray……………….lonely

Life isn’t that easy. Changes come faster than the chameleon can react sometimes. We have to learn to read the changes whenever possible. Logging an unusual behavior and making notes about the setting, time of day, physical activity and other observations may reveal a pattern. When it seems to repeat itself we know to look for further clues as to what caused the change in mood and behavior.

One of my children would become quite irritable and grouchy when she went too long without eating. We finally realized that when her blood sugar dropped, you better find food fast or face her outburst. They now call this behavior hangry. (hungry with anger).

We would leave home with a loving adorable child and watch her transform into a wild lioness on the prowl to pounce on anyone in her sight. This meant feed me now!

Once you learn to read the clues you can make adjustments. Sometimes the adjustments are easy. Stop and go to the bathroom now. Turn the heat up. Close the blinds if the sun is in their eyes. At other times, you may have to guess until you find how to address what they see as a problem.

Communication is not just words and actions but how we say it and do it. Watch their face for tension, grimaces, smiles, etc. These clue us in on stress, pain or contentment. As the dementia progresses the communication will become more compromised and any skills at reading facial expressions will become critical. The clues you have learned to read can be much like watching for the chameleon to change color.

Be encouraged that God gives us insight and abilities that we just have to learn to use. It just takes time and patience. You can do it. Just show up each day with your eyes and hearts wide open.

Word for Today

“being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, ” Colossians 1:11

Song for Today

Throw back to when my children were very young! The truth applies to us adults all too well.

Prayer for Today

Our Heavenly Father,

Taking care of oneself is sometimes challenging. Having someone depending on me for their daily living can be intimidating. Forgive me for when I allow stress to cause me to rush through and mess things up. It is difficult to adjust to the slower pace that I now have to live in because that is what the one I care for needs.

Help me to watch for the signs of fear, hunger, pain, loneliness and other emotions that need to be addressed. I need discernment and wisdom each and every day. Give me more patience so I can show compassion. Give each of us peace as we navigate new ways of communication.

We will praise you as peace begins to settle over our hearts and minds.

Amen

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

Time is something I seem to have little of to myself. Help me to not be selfish and to include you in those moments. I know you will honor the time set apart when I return to being a caregiver.

Give me courage, patience, wisdom and compassion today. Help me to remember that if some things are left undone, that is ok.

I thank you for always remembering our situation and being with us in it.

Amen

Will this happen to me? These five simple words pack a direct punch that can wreck havoc in our lives if we allow it to. Many caregivers of family members with Alzheimer’s disease are haunted by this question. It sits in the background all of the time. When we forget something or misplace something it surfaces. It can move to the front of the mind and become a filter that we view all of life through. It blurs our vision, overwhelms our emotions, dims our hope and can become a heavy weight we drag around.

To be extremely honest with you, I have that question arise as well. I have chosen to rule the question rather than allow it to rule me. This has to be chosen on a regular basis. The more I choose to live my life without fear, the less the question arises. When I was still active as a family caregiver, I needed all of the strength and fortitude I could muster. Now that I am no longer in that role I am trying to use that same effort to encourage those who are caregivers, educate people, fight for finding a cure through events such as the Walk to End Alzheimer’s and the Longest Day and hold on to my faith in God that ultimately He is in control.

This does not make me a great person. It makes me an ordinary person who does not want to walk in fear. I know the reality is that I may one day be diagnosed with this terrible disease unless a cure is found. I choose to live my life as if it will not happen. I choose to eat right, keep my mind active and recently joined the YMCA to become more physically active. I choose to accept that each of us will one day die either from an exhausted body, an accident, or an illness. I choose to accept that this world is not my forever home. I choose to love those who will accept my love and to share the love of God with all who will receive it.

The choices I have made help me keep that ugly question from controlling me. You must make your own choices. I encourage you to do just that. This will bring peace and allow you to be the best caregiver possible. You can’t carry the weight around and accomplish all you must do. You have to choose hope and keep moving forward. You will stumble under the emotional overload if you don’t face the fear induced by the question. If you need to seek out counsel or ask for help, do it now.

If this struck a chord with you today, you are probably in the company of many. Caregivers are real life heroes without a costume or movie made in their honor. Their superpowers are skills developed with hands on experience and they don’t always get it right. They do pick themselves up when they fall and keep on going.

You are amazing. You are strong. You do not have to walk in fear. You can walk in hope!

I walk in hope because I trust that God will never leave me or forget me. Even if I do face this disease, He will be with me through it all.

Word for Today

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

Song for Today

Prayer for Today,

Dear God,

Your love is everlasting and gives us hope. Your love is greater than our fears. We come to you as mere humans. Sometimes we allow the life on this earth to overshadow what you have planned for our eternity. Remind us of this on the days that we are overwhelmed. Whisper words of hope and comfort to our hearts and settle our minds with your peace.

We ask that You catch our tears when they fall. Hold us when we hurt. Send encouragement through people who cross our paths.

Thank you for always being a constant in our lives in ever changing situations.

Amen

How can we create an interest in life for those who withdraw due to confusion? I have found that funny stories and interaction with children works well. Often I will encourage persons in group activities to due silly movements during a story or song. I read them poems and jokes about silly things. One day a young girl read them a story she wrote about the perfect grandma. I had encouraged to be as silly as she wished. They all listened intently with huge smiles.

I shared earlier about teaching my granddaughters a song to sing with my mom. The song was about a caveman named Alley Oop. That in itself is silly enough. Here is a little of the song

here’s a man in the funny papers we all know (Alley Oop, oop, oop-oop)
He lived ‘way back a long time ago (Alley Oop, oop, oop-oop)
He don’t eat nothin’ but a bear cat stew (Alley Oop, oop, oop-oop)
Well this cat’s name is-a Alley Oop (Alley Oop, oop, oop-oop)… 

Mom’s eyes lit up and she would yell OOP OOP OOP. My granddaughter would double over laughing and mom would do it again. I am sure the workers wondered what was going on. I knew what was going on. My mom who had quit talking almost altogether was having a wonderful time. It gave me a glimpse of a woman who always controlled her emotions having a fabulous time being silly!

Music, humor and art allow them to be stimulated again. Be creative in making them happy. Just today I read about a woman who hired a comic to visit her mom on a regular basis. This was a brilliant idea. A comic is used to being heckled. A person with Alzheimer’s can dish out heckling with great skill sometimes. It keeps us on our toes to react and try something else. This woman had been watching how it worked for months. One day she heard singing and turned the corner to see her mom and the comic singing and dancing around the room. I am sure her heart was filled with as much joy as mine was when my mom and granddaughter had their fun day.

The point of this is that a renewed interest in life brings joy to the caregiver as well as the one being cared for. Watch the I Love Lucy show. Wear clown noses. Dance in the rain. Paint with Jello Pudding and then lick your fingers. Let your inner child join them as they regress by enjoying simple things.

Word for the Day

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

Today we come to you with thanksgiving for times of happiness and joy. We need to feel these emotions when our loads are so very heavy.

You are the creator and we know you can give us create ideas to keep our loved ones interested in life and able to enjoy life.

Amen