Several of the caregivers I know have said their final goodbye to a parent, spouse or close friend or family member this past year. The raw pain and grief lingers as Christmas nears. Pulling out decor and listening to favorite music can trigger heartache and tears. It is important to allow your grief to surface in those moments. After the tears settle, you need to leave room to reflect on wonderful memories. Choosing to reflect on the joys and the true meaning of Christmas can bring healing.
Through the years change occurs. You adjust. I have gone from decorating my tree with many different kinds of ornaments. We used clear glass ornaments and stuffed little pieces of paper listing our blessings each year into them and then painted the year on them. This was fun to read and restuff each year while the children lived at home. Then the ornaments had to become child proofed as grandchildren arrived. Now, there are no little children or indoor pets to be careful about when decorating.
In retirement holidays are quieter. An afternoon spent watching sheep and their guardian dogs with a hot cup of coffee is peaceful. We live very close to a Christmas tree farm and watch families drive by with their trees tied on top. Each season of life brings its own blessings.
In the past my mom and dad loved celebrating Christmas with family and friends. All of the family looked forward to seeing their home with several trees decorated, presents and tins full of cookies and candies waiting to be found.
The last Christmas with my mom was 10 years ago. I knew she was beginning to shut down, but I had no idea she would leave us 2 weeks later. The last Christmas with my dad was interrupted by a surgery for me 4 days before Christmas. I was unable to be with him that year and he was gone as well before the next Christmas.
In 2021 we lost my father-in-law in October. In 2022 we sat by my mother-in-laws side and said goodby on December 22. With children and grandchildren miles away, we now spend Christmas alone. It is very challenging to make adjustments. We choose to focus on God’s gift to us rather than drown in the sorrow of missing the loud family gathering.
Hallmark movies and commercials would have us believe that the rest of the world is perfect. No one is perfect. No family is perfect. Many have suffered losses and feel holes in their hearts during the holidays. You are not alone if you struggle to hold back tears and if you miss the Christmas seasons from your past.
I suggest you take time to share a cup of tea or coffee with a friend. Go ahead and decorate if you wish. Keep it simple if you want. Read the Christmas story in the Bible. Sit with God in the quiet and ponder with amazement the greatest gift we have been given. Choose a meaningful way to celebrate.
Our choice this year is to spend Christmas morning with residents in a memory care assisted living facility. We will read the Christmas story, sing carols and fun Christmas songs. Ruldolph reindeer noses, jingle bell necklaces and soft stuffed snowballs will be enjoyed by all. Then we will come home, turn the tree lights on and relax. The rest of the week is open to many options with extended family and friends.
Be creative in how you celebrate. Thinking outside of the box you always been in may just be delightful. Giving joy to others will bring joy back to you.
Word for Today
An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. Luke 2:9-11
Song for Today
Pray for Today
Dear God,
Forgive me when I forget the true meaning of Christmas. My heart may feel sad due to the loss of loved ones, but I know it is a temporary goodbye because of the wonderful gift of Christ to save each of us. Help me to allow that joy and comfort to get me through tough days. I want to dwell in your presence through this beautiful season focusing on others rather than myself.
Amen
Walking Them Home 