I always felt handicapped when on the playground as a child. My height as a full grown adult is only five feet. Most people run faster because their stride is longer. That feeling continues off the playground. On a vacation several years ago we were walking through Vancouver Cananda. Everyone in the group except me was 6 feet tall. Their casual stroll was a fast paced walk for me trying to keep up. After a long morning of sightseeing and a lunch in Chinatown, I found a bench and instructed them to continue on, I would wait for them and join the group later. They were frustrated and urged me to keep walking. I refused. I was exhausted.
Many times when a family member is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, everyone panics and wants to run before they are tagged it as the caregiver. When we face uncertainty or a complex situation, we all find excuses. This is not uncommon or new.
Long ago a man named Gideon was hiding while grinding wheat. A group of people known as the Midianites had tormented the Israelites. They raided their fields, animals and land. The Israelites cried out to God for help. Gideon was simply hiding in a winepress and grinding wheat when an angel appeared. The angel told Gideon to gather an army to fight the Midianites. Gideon had an excuse. He responded, “my clan is the weakest, and I am the least of my family”.
We may feel the same way Gideon did, inadequate and a little fearful. We use many excuses such as ” I am too busy to take care of mom” or “she has always like you best so you would be better doing this”. What we are really saying is that this is going to be too hard for me. Tag someone else for caregiver.
God had a word for GIdeon. It was simple and plain but spoken in truth. “I will be with you” is what Gideon heard. As an experienced caregiver I can attest to that statement. God showed up each and every day on my journey.
While there are a vast number of books, training and podcasts for caregivers, they can only prepare and advise you from other people’s experience and knowledge. Every case of Alheizmer’s is different. Every day may even be different. I understand why you want to run away.
God was my guide on the journey of caregiving.
When I was traveling 6 hours each way God allowed me to find still waters. (Psalm 23:2)
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
When I had to make difficult decisions He lead me to the right one. (Psalm 25:9)
He guides the humble in what is right
and teaches them his way.
When I floundered God sustained me and still does. (Psalm 54:4)
Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.
When my parents and In-laws passed away God comforted me. (Psalm 23:4)
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
When people suggested I was not doing things right God reassured me. (Psalm 73:24)
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
When criticism and judgements became harsh God whispered in my ear. (Isaiah 30:21)
Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”
When the long nights of feeling helpless kept me awake God calmed me. (Isaiah 42:16)
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them
and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them.
God didn’t send me an actual angel like Gideon had, but he used people who lended themselves to be God’s servants. Cards came in the mail. A stranger knocked on my dad’s door with a bouquet of flowers. A nurse found a quiet place in the emergency room to pray for me. A neighbor brought our dinner. Friends prayed, laughed and cried with me. My amazing husband walked each step of the way with me.
In parting, I readily admit that there were times when I longed for someone to slow down enough for me to tag them and say “tag, you are it”. Those thoughts were fleeting because I know what an honor it was to walk my parents to their final home in heaven. If you have been tagged, remember that God is with you.
Wondering what happened to Gideon? It is a really cool story. Dust off your Bible and read Judges 6 and 7. It definitely is reassuring to know when you get tagged by God, He goes to battle with you.
Word for Today
Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me. Psalm 54:4
Song for Today I just couldn’t resist reminding you of other battles God fought.
Prayer for Today
God,
I am not sure why I have been chosen to be a caregiver. Humbled I come to you as my guide. Give me courage, patience and compasssion. Equip me for the journey and walk beside me each step of the way.
Amen
Walking Them Home 