“Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.” ― Vince Lombardi

There is no perfect caregiver. We all will miss the target. As Vince Lombardi stated we can chase perfection and catch excellence. If someone or something has the quality of excellence, they are extremely good in some way. If you are chasing perfection, you are discovering what your strengths and weaknesses are. Caregiving demands are high and varied. The tasks can change daily.

I think a perfect caregiver is someone who is striving to learn all they can about Alzheimer’s and preparing for changes that are inevitable. You make adjustments as circumstances and behaviors change. You find a balance of letting go of dreams and accepting the new future you face.

You acknowledge that God is the only perfect one. You will learn to rely on him to carry you when your load is too heavy for you to bear. I witnessed a man this week as he struggled to help his wife through some difficult days. The stress I expected to see was replaced with tear filled eyes and trembling hands. This man has a soft heart and the new situation he is in has taken quite a toll. Those are the days that break my heart as well. It was taking every bit of courage, patience, unselfishness and kindness he could find to survive. He was using all he had within him to show excellence as a caregiver.

My hope is that he has friends that will wrap their arms around him, pray for him and help him with practical things so he can rest. Caregivers want to get it all right. There are some things you can’t fix or get it right. Tiredness and frustration can make you hangry! I know that is usually used to describe an angry person who is very hungry. A hangry caregiver gets grumpy and irriatable. They are hungry for many things!

• the normal they used to have
• friendship and fellowship with others
• assistance with chores
• compassion from family members
• meals someone else prepared
• peaceful sleep
• time to enjoy a hobby
• hope that life will become easier

People can help with most of this list. Neighbors may offer assistance. Other family members may offer to provide care. Not eveything on this list will be met by people. These unmet needs have to be turned over to God.

Personally I remember times that I had to stuff pain, resentment, anger and grief aside to function. Imagine a large box that was packed to the brim. Then I would have to tearfully dump that box at the feet of Jesus. He would wipe away my anger. Comfort my pain and strengthen me to pick myself up and keep going refreshed and renewed. This cycle repeated itself often. I came to realize I could never be a perfect caregiver. I could catch excellence and be a better one.

You too can provide excellent care. Perfection is never going to happen. Look at your failures as learning experiences and improve or adjust your methods. You will find yourself growing in confidence as the journey continues. Be bold and be strong!

Word for Today

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

Thank you for always having a plan even when I don’t understaand it. Give me the ability to trust you to carry the load when I can’t. Give me answers when I don’t know what to do. I choose to trust you and not myself.

Amen