When the going gets tough, you may questions your abilities. That is pretty common. You may even find yourself wishing you could just choose another path.

If you look closely, you will notice this hiker can go to the left or to the right. They both seem to lead to the same place. He can stand pondering his choice or take a step forward in either direction. What if the path simply takes him in a circle? He can keep circling or turn and go back to where he came from. Now take notice of the cluster of trees. Perhaps this cluster represents the problem you face. Someone in your life has Alzheimer’s disease. You must circle around this new situation and make some choices about how to adjust. You are the caregiver. You cannot turn and go back to where you came from. You cannot stand frozen in fear and dread, You may feel more alone and isolated than ever before. Wow!

The task that lies ahead will challenge and stretch you. I will not paint you a pretty picture, I will be brutally honest. It is hard. It takes all you have. You can do it though.

On my journey as a caregiver and support group leader, I have learned much. I could kayak for days on the river of tears shed and shared. These tears are from sorrow and joy. The caregiving community bonds through small victories and deep losses. If you are a caregiver you find that income, sex, age, political views or nationality doesn’t matter. Real people living real life under tough circumstances that are not a result of their bad choices tends to unite them.

In The Wizard of Oz we find these characters on a journey:

Dorothy – a girl who was swept away by a storm

Scarecrow – one who has been convinced that he is unable to do his job because he isn’t qualified since he has no brain.

The Tin Wood Man – a man whose encounter with a witch left him stiff, unable to move and without a heart

The Lion – a lion who avoids conflict because it makes his heart race and his roar soft so he thinks he is a coward

Do you find yourself identifying with one or more of these characters? All of us can verify we have been caught up in the storm. Our life has been rattled with extreme high winds of change. You are not in Kansas anymore. You may hear, “You aren’t from around here, are you?”. (Stick with a good support group where everyone feels like they have just been dropped from a tornado into a strange new place.)

Perhaps you understand the scarecrow best. You are afraid you are not equipped with the skills, patience, knowledge or confidence to do this job of being a caregiver. Skills can be built, knowledge can be gained and confidence grows with time.

Maybe you have walked away from your relationship with God like the tin man. You have hardened your heart. You will find that God stands with open arms waiting on your return. The forgiveness, grace and mercy will feel like oil refreshing and renewing your soul. You then are enabled to offer your care out of a loving heart.

Lastly, you feel too scared to face the task. Your roar is much loudly than you think. When you face family members who are critical or medical personnel who don’t listen, you will be a strong advocate who is not afraid to speak up.

Don’t stand in front of the tree. Start moving. If you walk in circles, learn from each circle. When you face each day one at a time you discover small victories. You learn to live in the moment and cherish the one you care for.

My stoic mom had lived her life supressing emotions, good and bad. When Alzheimer’s took away her ability to do this, I saw sides of her I had never seen. The fear and crying out in pain broke my heart. God was gracious to bring balance. He allowed me to see her get excited like a child over ice cream outings. I smiled as she danced and sang with her youngest grandson over silly things. I sat by her bedside reading her the stories she read to me as a young child. She lay still and content because she felt the connection we had.

God took my hand and walked with us during this journey. When I grew weary, He picked us up and carried us. He will do the same for you. You may not feel like you are created to be a caregiver. With God as your guide, you will discover you were.

Word for Today

Isaiah 40:29

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

Words are difficult to find some days. You see my tears. You feel my fear, anger, and pain. You are faithful when I am weak. Today I just need to be carried like a child. I am seeking your peace.

Amen

There are times that I question why I still write this blog and lead a support group.  My personal season as a caregiver began in 2008 and ended in December 2023.  It would be so easy to walk away and simply enjoy life.  I could joyfully refocus and volunteer in an area where I did not see suffering, discouragement and pain.

Every time I have the above thoughts, God reminds me to be led by His spirit and minister to people who are walking the path that I just got off of.  Someone was there to answer my questions and reassure me while I was a caregiver.  One day I attended a funeral for a friend’s father-in-law. She was exhausted in every way.  I hugged her and she cried.  Then she pulled away and said “You are in my prayers.  My journey has ended and you are just beginning.  I am here if you need a friend to talk to that gets what you are experiencing”.

Those words play in my mind and stir my heart.  They reverberate and drive me on. 

I am climbing up onto my soapbox now.  That is quite a climb when you are five foot tall.  Now I am picking up a microphone to say what you are too timid and tired to say.

Every caregiver needs someone who will listen.  Please listen and do not consider me a whiner. My life is hard right now.  I cannot attend our water exercise classes.  I am treading waves of heartache and emotions that exhaust me.

We can’t meet you for dinner this week.  It is too difficult to go into busy places.  Our social schedule involves doctor appointments.

If you want to truly help out.  Just do it!  I simply do not have time to describe our life and schedule.  Call and tell me you are bringing dinner on Tuesday or mowing my lawn on Saturday.  Use common sense and think of something practical to do that I need done!

Hugs are a welcome gift on any day.  I haven’t forgotten you, so please do not forget me.

I am climbing down now.  The soapbox emboldens me to say the things I thought as a caregiver, but would never say out loud to anyone.  

A soapbox is not needed to say these words.

You are incredible.  Your sacrifices are worth it.  No one could possibly know how you feel unless they too have walked the caregiver path.  I listen to your stories and pray for you.  It hurts my heart to look at your text that states you will not be able to attend the support group because you cannot afford the sitter. 

 I want to have the funds to provide that for you.  Where are the gofundme pages for caregivers who have given up jobs to take care of a parent?

As my husband and I saw the lottery news, I thought of how I could provide respite care and meals for you.  I didn’t play the lottery, but I still dream of being able to do this for caregivers. Praying for God to show me the way to make this happen.

I end today by sharing some ideas for dealing with sundowning.  The definition of sundowning is lengthy.  This is something I will go into deeper in another post.  A simple explanation is that weird behaviors occur in late afternoon and early evening.  Many of you have experienced the restlessness and anxiety that occurs.  Your loved one is pacing around and around.  They may even show some aggression.

To help reduce this behavior, get outside during the day when you can.  One of the caregivers I know shared with me that her mother’s behavior has worsened after the return to daylight savings time.  That is something that does not surprise me.  All of us have to adjust when this happens.  Our circadian rhythm gets a little off beat.

In the morning she has been opening all of the blinds in the house.  She turns all of the lights on in the home just before dusk and then closes the blinds so her mom doesn’t notice the transition from day to night.

Here are a few more suggestions. 

• Playing soft music and using lavender essential oils may help someone remain calm.  
• Consider making dinner ahead of time while they are peaceful and then just reheat at dinner time.
• Limit naps during the day
• Offer a favorite snack just before their usual sundowning time

Hopefully, these may work for you.

Have a blessed Easter weekend.  I no longer have little children around, but I think my baby blue eggs will be boiled and enjoyed by the adults in my life.  As I washed them yesterday, I thought about how cool it is having colorful eggs provided by my hens  who color them without dye.

Rejoice in the hope we have because Christ is no longer in the grave!

Word for Today

2 Corinthians 5:21 

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

I boldly praise you for the gift of your son and my salvation. I ask that you draw hearts to your truth. You are our hope and strength each and every day. Let us feel your presence in an amazing way.

Amen

A martyr is someone that puts something or someone first at a cost to them.  My children had a wicked sense of humor. After hearing the story I am about to share, they played the martyr game.

In a large family, the mother would always place a platter of fried chicken on the table.  Then she would choose the neck for herself.  Her children would offer her any other piece.  Her reply was always the same, “I prefer the neck”.  

We all know she was making sure her family had more meat to eat.  My kids would make comments such as “I will be cold, you take the blanket”.  Another might be “you eat the ice cream since I don’t really like it”.  Their comments were sarcastic and would turn into the next one taking it to an extreme in their sacrifice.  They called it I am the biggest martyr.

Their game was all in fun.  Unfortunately, some caregivers play this game without knowing it.

I sat at the bedside of my very independent and stubborn relative this weekend.  She has a heart condition that landed her in the hospital.  Her daughter, grandchild and I were very concerned.  She is a caregiver.  She denies her own health issues and tries to hide them.  

If this sounds like someone looking back at you in the mirror, you are guilty of being the martyr.

Putting your own needs aside to be a caregiver is a fact of life.  You find your role very demanding.  You ask yourself “when do I have time to take care of myself?”.

There are many sacrifices you will be forced to make.  Some of them are costly.

You must discern when it is something you can make adjustments on and keep a good attitude about or when it is dangerous.  You are extremely important to the one you are the caregiver for.  If you ignore your own health issues, who will take your place?

My relative’s own independent spirit and need to be in control was causing her to shut out other family members that could assist her.  This is a dangerous place to be.  Do not be guilty of this.  Find someone willing to help that you trust.  They may not do things the exact way you do, but that is alright.

As an adult child with a busy life, I wanted to be interrupted when my parents needed me.  The time I spent with them is treasured.  The experience of caregiving made me a much stronger person.  I learned valuable lessons.  Your children may be waiting to be asked to help.  Your job of protecting and providing for them has passed.  You should not protect them by not asking for their assistance.

A book that I read when my mother first showed signs of mental illness opened my eyes.  It was written by a woman who lived a distance from her family and stayed too busy to realize her parents had declining health.  When she finally went to visit, it was too late.  Her mother no longer recognized her and her father was in very poor health.  She said her final goodbye to them and then faced her regrets.  This moved her so much that she gave up her high salary and took a job as an aid at an assisted living.  She made it her mission to learn all she could and pass the information on to other families.

This pushed me to research, learn and do all I could for my parents.  I did not want them suffering and I did not want to live with regrets for being too busy to be there for them.  

If I stepped on your toes today, good!   This is a great time to reflect on who you can ask to help you.  It is also time to schedule your own doctor appointments.  I was guilty of not doing that myself.  I had filled the paperwork out so many times for my parents that it was automatic.  After they passed away, I scheduled an appointment for myself.  I was checking boxes like crazy.

• High blood pressure
• Diabetes
• Confusion
• Incontinence
• Alzheimer’s disease
• High Cholesterol
• Congestive Heart

Suddenly, I realized what I was doing and asked the receptionist for a new sheet.  Can you imagine the physician’s reaction when he saw that list?  I was really glad I caught myself.

I know your time is limited and you must be a martyr in many ways, you just don’t need to be the biggest martyr.

Turning over control to anyone is not easy.  I suggest you turn over complete control to God.  He can then give you wisdom and discernment in all decisions.  This will give you more peace and less stress.  

Word for Today

Matthew 11:28

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

I praise you for helping me carry this load. Help me to know what I need to do and when to ask for help. Sometimes I get so busy that I forget to ask for help. Give me the ability to trust others when I need too.

Amen

Caregivers can be with someone and feel lonely. Your heart longs for her to squeeze your hand and look into your eyes like she used to. You miss someone who can finish your sentences and laugh at your jokes. You miss his strong arms holding you close and letting you cry. This isn’t how you expected things to be in your marriage.

At the same time, your love for them, just as they are now, is more powerful and intense than ever before. You would not really want to be anywhere else. Some days are just hard and full of challenges.

People may want to help. It takes time to ask for help. It takes time to explain so others can understand how to best provide care. It takes trust to leave your loved one with someone else. The process can be exhausting, so you sigh and just do it all yourself.

You are joined by many. Most caregivers have felt what you are feeling. I felt lonely it in the middle of the night in an emergency room with my mom. I felt lonely driving back and forth when my caregiving was long distance. I felt it sitting beside my dad who no longer had conversations with me. It hurts, but it so worth letting the other person know you are simply with them.

When you need a place to cry, turn to Jesus. He prayed in a garden while his companions fell asleep. He was betrayed by a disciple that he shared a meal with. Sometimes we feel like Jesus is the only one who understands.

I am keeping this simple today. Know you are never alone and can always turn to Jesus.

Word for Today

Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.

Isaiah 49:13

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

Today I feel lonely even though I know you are with me always. I need you to truly be my heavenly father. I need to know you always see my circumstances. Please heal my heart and give me peace.

Amen

I am not a cargiver at this present season in my life. Sometimes I sit and reflect on what I experienced during the season I was a caregiver. This pushes me to continue learning and sharing with you and the other caregivers in my life.

Today I want to look at the issues that you face when someone is showing signs of Alzheimer’s and related dementias. You may notice these signs before a physician gives you a diagnosis. They can be unnerving. You feel like the person you know has turned into someone else. My well dressed and organized mom was misplacing important things due to feeling a need to hide them.

Her choice of clothing was way off. Things were mismatched. Anyone who knew her knew that she always matched or coordinated down to her jewelry and shoes.  I look back at photos and realize I missed a huge clue that something was wrong.  Mom loved babies. She always held them close and snuggled them on her shoulder.  When my first grandchild was born, Mom and Dad came to visit.  In the photos Dad has her snuggled close.  Mom placed her across her lap and patted her there.  In my excitement over the baby, I failed to observe this.  It should have been my biggest clue that something was wrong.

Do not ignore these little clues.  Everyone ages and changes but pay close attention to clues that this may be more than normal aging. The changes may start happening slowly, like a rainfall begins. You will see one drop fall and then another. Soon the ripple effect will be noticed.

You may be asking yourself what do I look for. The guy shown below is disheveled, frustrated and angry. Don’t let things get this out of hand before learning more. I would like to introduce you to cognitive symptoms and neuropsychatric symptoms.

What are these?

Cognitive symptoms include

•  memory loss
•  trouble finding words
•  getting lost
•  not recognizing people and places 
•  loss of the ability to make decisions  
• handling finances

Most people realize these symptoms occur with Alzheimer’s or related dementias.

Neuropsychiatric symptoms include

• Loss of motor activity such as buttoning a shirt
• Wandering
• Apathy 
• Depression
• Agitation and Aggression
• Irritability
• Delusions
• Hallucinations
• Sleeping disorders
• Eating disorders

Most people are surprised and even shocked by these symptoms.  These symptoms can occur at any stage of the disease.  I witnessed all of the above as I helped care for my mother with Alzheimer’s disease and my mother-in-law with vascular dementia.  The delusions and hallucinations were stronger in my mother-in-law.

I had to educate myself through research to build my skill set to deal with some of these symptoms.  There were times I failed.  For instance, I was trying to keep my mother-in-law on the bed because she was in the hospital due to a fall. She was a fall risk. I was sitting at the foot of the bed blocking her exit route. She was yelling, hitting and kicking. I had rang the nurse for assistance. While I waited she yelled that I was the most demanding person she had ever met. In frustrationa and exhaustion, I replied, “No, you are”. Fortunately, she quickly forgot this and help arrived. I slipped into the hall and cried. I had to always be careful to remember who she was before the disease and remind myself that the words and actions were a result of the disease.

If you have seen any of the above symptoms, please consult with a geriatric physician, psychiatrist or neurologist for an evaluation if you have not already.

The best option for treatment when the symptoms are mild is not with medication.  Sometimes you can change the environment and redirect attention.

Always attempt to remain calm as a caregiver.  Do not argue!  It always results in frustration for you and the one you are caring for.

Here are a few ideas of things you can try when symptoms appear.

• Music therapy
• Aroma therapy
• Exercise
• Animal or pet therapy

These can be simple and inexpensive.  Simply play their favorite music in the home. Dispense essential oils through a diffuser.  Lavender may help them relax.  Citrus helps in making them more alert at meal time.  Take a walk or do exercises in a chair.  If they love pets, have friends bring pets to visit.

These may or may not work.  Music calmed my mom. When my mom refused to eat things that were not sweet she would stick the tip of her tongue out to taste what was on the spoon.  If it was sweet, she would open her mouth.  It is amazing how many pureed meals were eaten because we learned to dip the end of the spoon in yogurt or ice cream.

My mother-in-law loved pets dearly.  In her last days she had become very withdrawn.  I scrambled to find her a robotic cat.  I turned it on and walked into her room with it.  Just as I placed it in her lap, it meowed and lifted a paw.  She instantly began talking to it and rubbing it.

Get creative.  You may be surprised by how little things can ease the tension.

There may come a time that medications are necessary.  Work with the doctor.  Keep them informed of changes.  Ask questions.  All medications carry a risk.  

Some medications can cause confusion and make the patient a fall risk.

Inform friends and family when these symptoms begin to occur.  Everyone needs to be prepared.  I received a call one morning from my mother-in-law.  She wanted me to know someone was visiting her.  She said they knocked on the window and waved.  She was waiting for them to come to her room.  My husband texted the friend.  She was not even in the same city at the moment.  If I did not already know mom was having issues, I would have believed her.  The delusions are very real for them. They can be quite convincing.

Neighbors need to know as well. My mom actually went in through a neighbor’s basement door, walked through the house and into the bathroom where the neighbor was in a towel after showering. She looked up into her mirror to see my mom standing there. Imagine that shock!

A caregiver in my support group left his wife watching the television while he bathed. The house was empty when he finished. He grabbed his clothes and shoes quickly. As he opened his door to search for her, an officer was on his porch to ask if he was looking for a woman. She had wandered down the block. A man had called 911 and they were about to leave with her in an ambulance.

Here is an important thing to remember. Suddenly, a gentle lamb can turn into a roaring lion.  It can be scary.  Step one should be to get them checked for a urinary tract infection.

My support group members share what has worked and not worked for them.  Please find a support group online or in your area.  Here are a few clever ideas they have come up with.

1. Use shaving cream to clean dirty bottoms
2. Remove and hide stove knobs so the stove cannot be turned on
3. Tie the faucet to the cabinet so it cannot be turned around and flood the kitchen.
4. Hide the liquid dishwashing detergent…imagine an “I Love Lucy” episode
5. Crush pills and mix them in the the cream of a Little Debbie oatmeal cake
6. Buy kids blocks to keep hands busy
7. Give mom a broom and make sure someone “accidentally” keeps blowing leaves on the porch.
8. Never trust that they swallow all pills.  They are skilled at swallowing water and then spitting pills out when you turn your back.
9. Ice cream solves everything!

The symptoms above are not shared to scare you.  They are shared to prepare you.

Be strong.  Continue to seek information.  Trust God for ideas.

Word for Today

Proverbs 15

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Heavenly Father,

I know that you see my situation. Equip me with creativity to handle symtoms that arise. Give me compassion and understanding when I deal with behaviors brought on by disease. Give me courage as I find my way each day. 

Amen

Contentment is something I decided to focus on this year. One source I read defined contentment as being free of worry. I see contentment as accepting the situation I find myself in while trusting God with the things I cannot change.

.

While pondering this blog idea, I awoke to the above early last week. For a southern girl it was wonderful. My contentment was easy with an 8 inches of snow outside the door. Our gas logs were working, food was stocked and hot chocolate and hot tea were enjoyed. The contentment was tested when the temps were very low for us. Rural life in southern states means no snow plows will be clearing your road.  It was nine days of snow with icy roads. Someone accustomed to this weather can go ahead and laugh.

As a caregiver, you may wonder if you can be content and how do you remain content in ever changing situations.

These are great questions. You must face the reality of things in your life that cannot be changed. To accept this reality is not always easy. Each caregiver situation is different and we are all equipped with different abilities.

My northern friends are well equipped to handle the snow.  You may not be as well equipped to handle our southern heat and humidity.  We have air conditioners and fans everywhere. 

In life as a caregiver, the weather isn’t as big of a challenge to navigate as emotional storms, physical exhaustion and spiritual ups and downs are.  Finding contentment in all of this can be a struggle itself.

A big difference for many is learning to live in the moment.  Don’t dwell on what you have lost.  Don’t live in anxiety about what comes next.  Allow yourself to look for the bright moments in each day.  Some days may be so trying that it is a stretch for you. Watch this example of a little girl named Pollyanna.

I have been called a Pollyanna.  

Pollyanna is probably the most misunderstood fictional character of 20th century American literature. When most people think of Pollyanna, they think of an overly optimistic goody-goody who doesn’t see the harsh reality of the world. The term Pollyanna has taken on quite a negative connotation, and you frequently hear people using the term apologetically—I hate to be a Pollyanna, or critically—Stop being such a Pollyanna.

In fact, Pollyanna was not unrealistic or overly optimistic about anything. She was a little girl with a very poor but very wise father who recognized the duality of everything in life and taught her to play a game based on this idea.

Pollyanna’s game was known as the “glad game.” One day Pollyanna’s father, who was a church missionary supported by donations from the Ladies’ Aid Society, received a long-awaited donation box for his family. Pollyanna, who had very few toys, had been wishing with all her might for a doll, but the only thing for her to play with was a broken pair of crutches.

When Pollyanna started to cry, her father promised her that if she stopped crying he would teach her to play a game that would bring her more happiness than any doll ever could. He taught her that in every situation, no matter how bad it might seem, you could always find something to be glad about if you looked hard enough.

Pollyanna and her father played that game every day, looking as hard as they could to find the thing they could be glad about in every situation. The more difficult the situation, the more fun and challenging it was for them.¹ 1. Porter, Eleanor, H. (1990). Pollyanna. Puffin Classics. London.

Psychologists and researchers are talking about how gratitude affects the brain.  Some are finding that feeling thankful has health benefits such as improved sleep and less anxiety.  You don’t even have to buy a pill for these benefits.

God’s word addresses having gratitude:

• “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6)
• “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” (Colossians 3:15)

Maybe the key to contentment is showing gratitude for the little things. There were times when my mother was bedridden and in pain. I would sit by her side praying for her with tears streaming down my cheeks. Feeling helpless when I could not comfort her was not a place I ever want to return to. Those days were ones that I struggled to play the glad game. I dug deep and decided to thank God that I could be there holding her hand so she would know she was not alone.

You will have days that you have to dig deep to find something to be thankful for. I encourage you to do the digging. You will realize that you do have things to be grateful for.

Word for Today

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for him.” Lamentations 3:22-24

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

I am grateful every day for your presence in my life. You know my heart and struggles. Help me to remember that your are with me each morning with mercy, grace, compassion and forgiveness. Your faithfulness is something I can always be grateful for. Remind me of this when I become fretful.

Amen

“Time is lost when we have not lived a full human life, time unenriched by experience, creative endeavor, enjoyment, and suffering.”

– Dietrich Bonhoeffer

When most of your time is spent as a caregiver, you tend to forget that part of a full life includes some suffering. You are challenged daily. These trials cause you to dig deeper to find the fortitude to keep going.

Most of us know that someone with dementia has trouble with time perception. You can go to take a shower and return to a frantic and anxious person who insists that you have been gone for several hours.

Looking back I remember when a day seemed to be way longer than it was. I longed for nighttime when I could let my guard down and relax after my loved one was asleep. Now that my parents and in-laws are free from Alzheimer’s, vascular dementia and cancer after transitioning to heaven, I realize just how fast the time really went. Did I make the most of that time? Did I record their voice and images to cherish now when I miss them? Did I just sit and hold their hand when they were lonely?

I think I must be have been suffering from a different version of time perception. I remember my dad saying that time seems to pass faster as you get older. Now I completely understand why he said this. Who is that older woman staring at me in the mirror? Is it really about to be 2024?

Have you thought about what this next year may hold for you? Caregivers find themselves in a position that involves planning and remaining flexible. It is a juggling act that is hard to master. 

Making resolutions for the new year may be simple:

  Try to eat right and stay healthy

  Accept the fact that change is inevitable.

  Focus on what is important.

  Cherish the moments that connections are real.

  Allow others to pick up part of the load you carry as a caregiver.

  Trust God for strength and wisdom.

Here are a few thoughts to consider. 

Always have a backup person should you have an emergency yourself or illness. 

Keep a note book with a list of doctors, medications, food allergies, veternarians, children’s phone numbers, food likes and dislikes. Everything that you have stored in your memory that assists you as a caregiver needs to be there for your backup.

If you have a usual grocery list, post it inside a cabinet door. You can order it and let a friend pick it up for you.

Keep your power of attorney, medical directives and list of medications in a folder in your vehicle. You may need it and not have them with you. Take a photo and keep in on your phone.

When you leave the house have a small backpack. Take a change of underwear, depends, wipes, snacks and fidget toys Would you leave the house to run errands or for doctor visits with a toddler without these items? You have to do this for an adult who is becoming incontinent. They also get hungry and impatient when having to wait for any length of time.

Schedule appointments around nap times. Avoid scheduling any activites in the late afternoon.

I hope these suggestions help. Unfortunately, you have no way of knowing what changes will occur as dementia progresses. God alone knows the timing of this. As you listen to His still small voice, you will be ready to face the changes.

You are vital as the caregiver. It is so very important to allow someone to assist from time to time. That is the only way they can step in for you. You have to educate them.

Praying you have a blessed new year.

Word for Today

2 Corinthians 9:8

And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

Song for Today

Prayer for Today

Dear God,

I praise you for always having time for me even when I don’t treasure that time as I should. Teach me how to pray throughout my busy day. I need your guidance and reassurance. Show me how to hear your voice and to follow the path you have for me.

Amen