When the going gets tough, you may questions your abilities. That is pretty common. You may even find yourself wishing you could just choose another path.
If you look closely, you will notice this hiker can go to the left or to the right. They both seem to lead to the same place. He can stand pondering his choice or take a step forward in either direction. What if the path simply takes him in a circle? He can keep circling or turn and go back to where he came from. Now take notice of the cluster of trees. Perhaps this cluster represents the problem you face. Someone in your life has Alzheimer’s disease. You must circle around this new situation and make some choices about how to adjust. You are the caregiver. You cannot turn and go back to where you came from. You cannot stand frozen in fear and dread, You may feel more alone and isolated than ever before. Wow!
The task that lies ahead will challenge and stretch you. I will not paint you a pretty picture, I will be brutally honest. It is hard. It takes all you have. You can do it though.
On my journey as a caregiver and support group leader, I have learned much. I could kayak for days on the river of tears shed and shared. These tears are from sorrow and joy. The caregiving community bonds through small victories and deep losses. If you are a caregiver you find that income, sex, age, political views or nationality doesn’t matter. Real people living real life under tough circumstances that are not a result of their bad choices tends to unite them.
In The Wizard of Oz we find these characters on a journey:
Dorothy – a girl who was swept away by a storm
Scarecrow – one who has been convinced that he is unable to do his job because he isn’t qualified since he has no brain.
The Tin Wood Man – a man whose encounter with a witch left him stiff, unable to move and without a heart
The Lion – a lion who avoids conflict because it makes his heart race and his roar soft so he thinks he is a coward
Do you find yourself identifying with one or more of these characters? All of us can verify we have been caught up in the storm. Our life has been rattled with extreme high winds of change. You are not in Kansas anymore. You may hear, “You aren’t from around here, are you?”. (Stick with a good support group where everyone feels like they have just been dropped from a tornado into a strange new place.)
Perhaps you understand the scarecrow best. You are afraid you are not equipped with the skills, patience, knowledge or confidence to do this job of being a caregiver. Skills can be built, knowledge can be gained and confidence grows with time.
Maybe you have walked away from your relationship with God like the tin man. You have hardened your heart. You will find that God stands with open arms waiting on your return. The forgiveness, grace and mercy will feel like oil refreshing and renewing your soul. You then are enabled to offer your care out of a loving heart.
Lastly, you feel too scared to face the task. Your roar is much loudly than you think. When you face family members who are critical or medical personnel who don’t listen, you will be a strong advocate who is not afraid to speak up.
Don’t stand in front of the tree. Start moving. If you walk in circles, learn from each circle. When you face each day one at a time you discover small victories. You learn to live in the moment and cherish the one you care for.
My stoic mom had lived her life supressing emotions, good and bad. When Alzheimer’s took away her ability to do this, I saw sides of her I had never seen. The fear and crying out in pain broke my heart. God was gracious to bring balance. He allowed me to see her get excited like a child over ice cream outings. I smiled as she danced and sang with her youngest grandson over silly things. I sat by her bedside reading her the stories she read to me as a young child. She lay still and content because she felt the connection we had.
God took my hand and walked with us during this journey. When I grew weary, He picked us up and carried us. He will do the same for you. You may not feel like you are created to be a caregiver. With God as your guide, you will discover you were.
Word for Today
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Dear God,
Words are difficult to find some days. You see my tears. You feel my fear, anger, and pain. You are faithful when I am weak. Today I just need to be carried like a child. I am seeking your peace.
Amen
Walking Them Home 