“Time is lost when we have not lived a full human life, time unenriched by experience, creative endeavor, enjoyment, and suffering.”
– Dietrich Bonhoeffer
When most of your time is spent as a caregiver, you tend to forget that part of a full life includes some suffering. You are challenged daily. These trials cause you to dig deeper to find the fortitude to keep going.
Most of us know that someone with dementia has trouble with time perception. You can go to take a shower and return to a frantic and anxious person who insists that you have been gone for several hours.
Looking back I remember when a day seemed to be way longer than it was. I longed for nighttime when I could let my guard down and relax after my loved one was asleep. Now that my parents and in-laws are free from Alzheimer’s, vascular dementia and cancer after transitioning to heaven, I realize just how fast the time really went. Did I make the most of that time? Did I record their voice and images to cherish now when I miss them? Did I just sit and hold their hand when they were lonely?
I think I must be have been suffering from a different version of time perception. I remember my dad saying that time seems to pass faster as you get older. Now I completely understand why he said this. Who is that older woman staring at me in the mirror? Is it really about to be 2024?
Have you thought about what this next year may hold for you? Caregivers find themselves in a position that involves planning and remaining flexible. It is a juggling act that is hard to master.
Making resolutions for the new year may be simple:
Try to eat right and stay healthy
Accept the fact that change is inevitable.
Focus on what is important.
Cherish the moments that connections are real.
Allow others to pick up part of the load you carry as a caregiver.
Trust God for strength and wisdom.
Here are a few thoughts to consider.
Always have a backup person should you have an emergency yourself or illness.
Keep a note book with a list of doctors, medications, food allergies, veternarians, children’s phone numbers, food likes and dislikes. Everything that you have stored in your memory that assists you as a caregiver needs to be there for your backup.
If you have a usual grocery list, post it inside a cabinet door. You can order it and let a friend pick it up for you.
Keep your power of attorney, medical directives and list of medications in a folder in your vehicle. You may need it and not have them with you. Take a photo and keep in on your phone.
When you leave the house have a small backpack. Take a change of underwear, depends, wipes, snacks and fidget toys Would you leave the house to run errands or for doctor visits with a toddler without these items? You have to do this for an adult who is becoming incontinent. They also get hungry and impatient when having to wait for any length of time.
Schedule appointments around nap times. Avoid scheduling any activites in the late afternoon.
I hope these suggestions help. Unfortunately, you have no way of knowing what changes will occur as dementia progresses. God alone knows the timing of this. As you listen to His still small voice, you will be ready to face the changes.
You are vital as the caregiver. It is so very important to allow someone to assist from time to time. That is the only way they can step in for you. You have to educate them.
Praying you have a blessed new year.
Word for Today
And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Dear God,
I praise you for always having time for me even when I don’t treasure that time as I should. Teach me how to pray throughout my busy day. I need your guidance and reassurance. Show me how to hear your voice and to follow the path you have for me.
Amen
Walking Them Home 