This was the first Thanksgiving my husband and I have ever spent alone. No parents are alive to take care of or to spend time with. Our children and grandchildren live across the country. Our brothers were with their children and grands. I expected to feel sad and alone. Surprisingly, it was the opposite. I chose to not focus on past holiday activities or worry about future ones. I decided to live in the moment.
God knew the heaviness we had felt for so long and blessed us with incredible peace. We rented a mountain cabin in the foothills of Tennessee for the whole week. Our cell phones had no service. It was isolated and the view was amazing. We rocked on the porch and sipped our coffee. When we were hungry we ate. If someone got sleepy, they took a nap. We had no schedule. We read, walked outdoors, watched football, snuggled and prayed.
This was unexpected and was something I could not have thought possible just 12 months ago. We were about to enter several rough weeks as caregivers at that time. The month of round the clock shifts at the hospital and nursing home began on Dec. 2. It was a roller coaster ride that left us exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally.
There are times that you forget you will have peace and a life that goes on after caregiving. I am writing this to remind you that your life will go on. Your heart will heal. You will still find purpose in life. Your days will move beyond just getting through to finding joy again.
You may even be asking yourself” who am I?”. You may have laid everything aside to be a caregiver. Your days have been filled with meeting the needs of someone else. You are a different person than you were when the caregiving journey began. You are more mature and seasoned from your experience.
While still on the journey, consider starting a journal. Think about new skills you have acquired. Reflect on how you have a changed perspective on what is important. Consider the circle of friends who have remained close and fellow caregivers who have become friends. Make a bucket list that you can look forward to in the future. Fear of the future can be faced with great courage because a caregiver has more grit and courage than most people.
God gave us so many examples in the bible of people who found themselves in painful and trying situations that were not what they had planned. Joseph was thrown into a pit, sold to strangers and then was thrown into prison because of a lying woman. I can only guess that God was building his character and preparing him for a day of unexpected peace when he was restored to his family.
Mary was a young woman waiting to marry her Joseph. Obviously, God had chosen her for an amazing task. Can you imagine the humiliation she must have faced being pregnant before she was married? The gossip of people had to be heard in every corner of the village. She had to trust God from a very young age. One night she gave birth in a stable. She felt God’s unexpected peace as she held her baby more than any other mother has ever had.
You are living a time of your life where you are set apart to focus on someone who depends on you every day. Some days are long and trying. God is building gifts in you that you didn’t even realize you had. When your time of caring is over, you will find new things to do. You will have peace that you never thought possible. Hold tightly to God because He is holding your tears, hopes and dreams near His heart.
Word for Today
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Dear Heavenly Father,
I come to you today feeling as if life is full of change that I am not ready for. Becoming a caregiver was never what I expected my future to hold. In the midst of it, I trust you each day to calm the waves of frustration, exhaustion and fear. Give me hope that you will help me make it through. Hold my heart together as I feel like it is shattered.
Help me to trust you with my life after being a caregiver fades away. Mold me, refresh me and give me hope.
Amen
Walking Them Home 