If you are asked what does a caregiver look like, look around and you will see beautiful people who pour into the lives of others who need them. They are young, middle aged and elderly. Every nationality is represented. Every education level can be found. Financial situations cover the spectrum.
The world talks a lot about inclusiveness. Our group called caregivers has all of this well covered. It is not an awareness, awokeness or politcal call. It is a wonderful group of people who face challenges, make sacrtifices daily without shouting out to the world for attention.
Today; however, I am shouting out to the world for you. Please notice the challenge we have accepted to make life richer and fuller for our loved ones who can no longer function on thier own. We all deserve gold medals for our valiant effort, but we do not do this for medals. We do this because we care.
Now that I have stated what we know is true and wish the world understood better, I will state some others things we long for but do not say. I am tired. I am lonely. How can I get someone else to share the load. Why did God let this happen? A visit would be nice.
We wishfully wait for a knock at the door with a friend saying one of the following:
” I brought a cake and my son is mowing your lawn this afternoon”.
“Come over to lunch tomorrow. I considered what your aunt will eat and will make finger foods so she can handle them. Please don’t say no or be embarassed. My mother had dementia and I understand they say or do things that they would not have done in the past.”
“Why don’t you place an order for your groceries this week and let me pick them up for you”?
“Forgive me for calling and telling you to let me know if you need anything. I noticed your flower bed and will be over in a few minutes to pull some weeds and then we can sit on the porch together and sip on some iced tea I am bringing and enjoy the view. It is just a small thing but I know it bothers you and you can’t leave Frank to do it yourself.”
“My son gave me two tickets to a baseball game Friday. Susan and I will be over at 5:00pm with dinner. Susan will clean up after and stay with Mary while you and I go to the game.”
We all have those secret dreams hidden away. Sometimes friends, family and neighbors want to help but simply do not take the initiative to do it. When you are feeling overwhelmed, do not be afraid to ask for a little help. You can invite them over a few times so they have a better understanding of your situation. This may alleviate their fears.
I truly wish I could sit down with you and take your hand, look you in the eye and ask, “How are you doing?. Take a few moments to ponder how you will answer that question. If you find tears filling your eyes, that is perfectly normal. Let them flow.
This poem expressed how we may feel.
Tears Only Seen by God
In the darkness when no one else sees
Tears fall softly as my heart breaks
Exhausted from holding myself together
I give in to fear and heartache.
No one sees or hears except for God
He is the only one who knows all
Without judging my mistakes
He holds me like a child so small.
When the sobbing ceases
He doesn’t turn and walk away
Remaining just to reassure me
He strengthens me for the next day
Knowing I am not forgotten and alone
I take a breath and feel newed
Thankful for his presence
I sleep with fears and pain subdued.
The wonderful truth is that the same amazing God who created us and sent His son to save us is the one who still watches over us. He sees you just as you are. He will continue to be your hope and strength. While the world around you may be in choas and your personal world may be in chaos as a caregiver, God is still in control. Trust Him.
Word for Today
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Dear God,
You amaze us every day with your continuous love and mercy. Thank you for leading others to minister to us when we just need them to be the arms of Christ extended to us. Thank you for holding us on the days we just need to cry. Give us hope as we walk this caregiving journey out by faith.
Amen
Walking Them Home 