In the Wizard of Oz we watch as Dorothy and her friends work themselves into a fearful frenzy of what may lie ahead. When we hear words such as dementia, Alzheimer’s or Lewey Bodies. we can work ourselves into a fearful frenzy as if we had just heard lions, tigers and bears. While it sounds scary, you can handle this.
Maybe someone you love has recently been diagnosed with one of the above or another form of dementia. Take a deep breath. You are not alone. Families all across the world are facing the same crisis. Fortunately, there are incredible resources being made available. This blog is just one of many written by caregivers. I personally found courage to face my fears in several ways.
First, I asked God to guide my steps. Bible verses that I have always relied on are Proverbs 3:5-6. Below are several versions. One may speak to you more than another.
The Message
Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he’s the one who will keep you on track.
New International Version
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
King James
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Maybe you don’t have a relationship with God. It is the most amazing strength I have ever encountered. When facing scary situations, I have peace that is unexplainable.
My examples of God’s provision along with those of the many caregivers I have encountered are amazing.
Here are a few examples:
* A room suddenly becomes available in a facility with a long waiting list just when I need it.
(Ths happened 3 times in our caregiving journey)
* Receiving a card or book in the mail when you needed encouragement the most
* Friends getting referrals for in home caregivers at times of desperate need.
* Ideas coming about how to connect at a deep level with the one you care for when you lose hope
*A nurse calling you into the hallway of an emergency room and asking to pray for you
*Neighbors bringing hot meals over when they see you return home exhausted
*a random florist owner knocking on the door with a free yellow smiley face mug of flowers when you are sitting in the dark room crying because your dad is slowly passing away
God will meet your needs just like he met mine and my caregiving friends.
Second, I educated myself. Read, watch and listen. There are many resources on the web. Check out the Alzheimer’s Association. Get your hand on The 36 Hour Day. ( This is a must read.) Locate a support group for caregivers. If you read my past blog entries you will see suggested reading materials.
Thirdly, I realized that life had changed forever for me and the one I cared for. They now lived in a different reality and could not change. I had no chose but to step into their world.
If you still fear the journey, rest assured we all learn along the way. We mess up. We cry and pray a lot! You do the best you can.
My dad could be stubborn but he mellowed. I watched him shower love on my mom in ways I never expected. This man learned how to apply her makeup and style her hair. He fought getting help and moving mom into a nursing home. These were very hard decisions for him and heartbreaking ones.
Once mom was settled at the skilled care facility, he got a much needed knee replacement. His goal was to get out of rehab and see mom. That goal was met in 3 weeks and I signed him out with him informing me to keep driving and go straight to see mom. I rolled his wheelchair into her room and stepped back to observe. After 55 years of marriage no words were needed. The unspoken “I love you” bounced off the walls of that room. Her eyes sparkled and his tears fell.
A few years later as mom was leaving this world, Dad stood by her bed when I quietly walked in. I overheard his words and froze in place. Dad was holding mom’s hand. He said “Linda, I am going to hold your hand and count backwards. Ten, nine, eight”. Suddenly I knew he was thinking of when you are being put to sleep in surgery. He was trying to help Mom as she left us. I whirled around and eased out of the room emotionally undone. I had just witnessed an intense act of love.
You will be a part of these intense acts of love as you take care of someone. Remember that no act of love is ever wasted. Those acts of love can tame lions, tigers, and bears while erasing your fears.
Word for Today
Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Prayer for Today
Dear Father God,
Today I come with gratitude for your amazing love. When fear enters my heart help me to trust that you are walking with me through the storm. Calm the storm and calm my soul.
Amen
Song for Today
Walking Them Home 