Country roads brought me home to the place where I belong. Sitting on my porch listening to the birds sing and watching momma bird fly back and forth feeding her babies reminds me that life is beautiful. Night skies are amazing on a clear evening. I am much more likely to hear a few coyotes than sirens at night.
Tires rolling over gravel leave a cloud of dust alerting me to visitors.
Fresh eggs, honey, berries and vegetables nourish our bodies and minds. We know the preservatives and chemicals are missing that could cause damage. I would rather harvest on my farm than shop at the store. Friends at the farmer’s market grow the things we don’t. Bartering works well with freinds.
You may wonder what any of this has to do with caregiving. Allow me to explain.
The last place I ever expected to move to was this farm. My dreams involved a small farm in the foothills of Tennessee. When my mother and father passed away, a new journey of caregiving began. I had seen signs of mild dementia in my mother-in-law. They lived on 21 acres and would not sell or move. The amount of upkeep was too much for them. My dear husband suggested that we offer to buy their farm and let them keep a few acres and build a home next to us.
Every fiber of my being screamed “no”. I grew up next door to a set of grandparents. My grandmother made life miserable at times for all of us. I never wanted to relive any of that. Memories flooded through my mind as I mulled his suggestion over.
God surprised me. It felt as if He whispered in my ear, “Trust me. I have a plan for your life”. Suddenly, I heard the word “Yes” come from me and I was at peace. In a matter of days it was settled. We put a “for sale” sign out front and began packing.
God was teaching me to be content in my circumstances. He knew that my father-in-law would soon have cancer. He knew they needed us next door. He knew that I would help navigate doctor appointments and be their driver as we traveled back and forth for treatments. He knew we would say goodbye to him way too soon.
The last eighteen months have been filled with drama. My mother-in-law had vascular dementia. She became extremely delusional at times. She seemed to cycle daily from being sensible to living in another reality. She was very dependent on us. A fall, hospital stay and refusal to eat caused us to lose her on December 22, 2022.
My husband and I are so very grateful for the time we had with them so close to us. We feel it was an honor to walk them to their final home. Trusting God and listening to His voice put us exactly where we needed to be at just the right time.
As a caregiver, it is so critical to trust God. The world around you is swirling with opinions on politics, wokeness, climate change and noise pollution of all kinds. It makes me want to shout out, “in the end none of this matters”. We are passing through this world. Any comfort, any kindness and any acts of love that we show others does matter. Caregivers get this.
Caregivers are in a tough situation. They are making sacrifices others don’t see. They are overworked, underpaid and misunderstood. No one pays them big money to parade around as an influencer; however, if you are a caregiver, you influence the person you care for every day. You don’t pretend to have all of the answers. You figure things out and make them work. My hat is off to you.
Keep doing what you do. Trust God to order your steps. Trust God to carry the load. Trust God to be your own personal therapist. You don’t have to join Jesus at the table and share your story. He already knows it. He is just waiting on you to realize that He is all you need.
He is all I need and trusting him has led me places I didn’t expect. I now lead a support group, write this blog, teach classes and make wonderful friends through all of it. I have written a book that I hope to release soon.
Last week I talked to a caregiver on the phone about life in general because her spouse no longer talks. I crossed paths with two families looking for a support group. I smiled because one of the members of our support group found that a robotic dog was being enjoyed by his wife.
The biggest lesson I have learned is that God’s plans are so much better than mine. It is time to go back to my porch and enjoy the roses and windchimes as I continue to learn to be content. Thankfully, God’s plan has allowed me to remain in the south on a country road. It is nice here.
Word for Today
Romans 11:33
Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!
Prayer for Today
Dear Heavenly Father,
You never cease to amaze us with your tender love and guidance. I ask that you fill my fellow caregivers with wisdom and guide their steps. As they walk the path you have placed them on, send friends to keep them company and offer encouragement. Let a word be spoken, a small gift given or an act of service to assist them serve as reminders of how you see them and you care.
Hold them close and bless them.
Amen
Song for Today
Walking Them Home 