Earlier I posted about life throwing curve balls. I have been fielding a few of those. Hopefully, I will be back writing on a regular basis now. The great news is that a desire dear to me is been fulfilled. My own journey as a caregiver opened my eyes and heart to how vast the need is for education and encouragement for caregivers. An organization I am involved with is partnering with our local library to present a series offering those two things to the public. I have been busy preparing for this and have accepted the challenge of leading a support group for caregivers.
Today’s topic involves sewing a quilt. A quilt is pieced together from many pieces of fabric. Then a batting thickness has to be determined. Next you add backing and then stich it all together with binding. The result is both a piece of art and a functioning cover to bring warmth and coziness.
You may be asking what this has to do with caregiving. Let me explain.
Family caregivers can be part time, full time, live in or long distance. The roles are different for every family. You may see your role change as time passes. Perhaps the greatest challenge every caregiver faces is guilt. Sometimes we can allow a guilt quilt to be designed for us to lay under.
Too often we let the overload of guilt fall into heaps of fabric at our feet to be pieced together through our thought processes. We ponder about what we think we should be to those around us. We see all of our inadequacies. We feel as if our best is never enough. We slowly stitch the thoughts and allow an ugly pattern to take place.
Then a batting is added. It’s weight is made up of what everyone else in the family thinks of the job we are doing as a caregiver. Words of criticism hurt when you are the one carrying the bulk of the load. Their opinions cause you to second guess your own decisions.
This is layered on top of the opinions of outsiders. A wise man once told me that you shouldn’t have a voice unless you have a horse in the race. Many who are trying to tell you what to do have never walked in your shoes.
Then we stitch everything together with our insecurities and shortcomings. The result is a picasso painting at best and is way too heavy to ever bring coziness.
Maybe it is time to take the quilt apart and start over. Pick up your seam ripper and get started!
Allow the quilt top to be made of forgiveness from God first. Then forgive yourself for not being perfect. Evaluate your gifts and skills that you bring to the table as a caregiver. Arrange the positive things in a way that reflects beauty and gives God glory.
The batting may take a little more work. Listen as the family members who appreciate you speak into your life. If they are missing, then find friends who become your family. Allow their love to cushion and comfort you.
Next, we will toss the opinions of outsiders into the scrap pile. It will be replaced with opinions of educated people who equip us for the caregiving journey. Add to this the encouraging words of prayer warriors. Sew the binding with confidence and peace knowing your caregiving quilt will only be a blessing when shared.
It is amazing when you learn to accept the approval of God and not depend on the approval of men. Actually, it transforms your life. There is freedom to be who God has called you to be.
Word for Today
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But thegreatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13:13
Prayer for Today
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for always holding me fast in this broken world I live in. Help me to turn my ears to you as I strive to be the caregiver you have equipped me to be. Help me to turn to you when I need hope, strength and wisdom.
Help me to reflect your glory in all I do.
Amen
Walking Them Home 