Finally, I am back. Hopefully I have an idea for handling difficult days. Forgive my absence please. A couple of friends, a family member and a neighbor have been thrown some curve balls over the last few weeks as caregivers. I have tried to be a listening ear, prayer partner and voice of encouragement for them.
As I have thought about what to share with you, I remembered a story that I would like to share. A church I attended had plenty of people who disagreed on the right temperature for the building to be. Some thought it was too cold while others were convinced it was too hot. Some wise board members found a solution. The real thermostat to control the temperature was relocated to a office that was locked during services. The one on the wall that everyone could access was disconnected but left on the wall. Everyone, who wanted to, could adjust the setting and suddenly the temps were always just right.
When you are caring for someone with dementia you may have to take control of situations in a way that allows them to think they are still in control. This takes planning and holding of your tongue. Remember arguing never results in a win for either of you. You can plant an idea in their head and give them a few days to ponder it during the early stages of Alzheimer’s. Often they will come back to you with your idea. Reply “that is a great idea so let’s try it”. Never reply with “I told you so”. Humble yourself to save their dignity.
You can plan carefully with the best of intentions. Sometimes the plan works. Other times it falls apart. Today is one of those days. My plans were to lead an in person support group An ice storm halted those plans. So, I decided to use up some food before we lose power. The blender was full of greek yogurt, pineapple, blueberries and strawberries. Delicious smoothies would be lunch. Maybe I was feeling a bit pleased with myself for this great idea. Then humility flooded over me as I looked at my kitchen.
The blender began to work slowly and then smoke was pouring from it. I hurried to unplug it. Then I hastily tried to remove the glass container full of smoothie. The blade and holder stayed with the base and smoothie went all over me, the counter, the cabinet doors and the floor. My German shepherd was eager to clean the floor. This is the point that my husband walked back in for lunch and found it all over the kitchen. He is a great a wonderful man and rescued me from my disaster. To prove how wonderful he is, he just ordered me a new and improved blender!
Each of you have God on your side. He sweeps in when our plans fail to help us clean up the mess. Who knows a friend may even step in with a pleasant surprise such as my new blender.
God’s word is full of examples of people who had curve balls to handle. Jacob said “I Do”, lifted the veil and saw he had married the wrong girl. Joseph shared his dream and landed in the bottom of a pit. Mary was a young virgin girl who was told by an angel that she would bear a child conceived by God. The rest of their stories can be explored to find how they handled the changes and where their journeys took them. God had a plan for each of them.
God will be faithful to help you face tough days as well. You are stronger than you think because He carries part of your load. Trust Him to give you wisdom. He knows His plan for you.
Word for Today
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
Prayer for Today
Dear God,
Some days are not as peaceful as others. No matter how much I try, it feels as if I never do the right thing. Then I carry guilt and have a lack of peace, thinking I blew it again. Give me the courage to pick myself up and keep going. Give me peace when life is full of stress. Give me faith to know you will make my paths straight and have a plan for me. Part of that plan is to be a caregiver.
I thank you for the honor of walking my loved one to their final home. Help me to consider it an honor on the hard days.
Amen
Song for Today
P.S. The freezing ice has changed to beautiful snowflakes. I have a peace in my heart and praise in my heart. My home is warm and for now the power is still on. Make yourself a hot cup of cocoa or tea and praise God for your blessings.
Walking Them Home 