Most caregivers serve as an advocate for the one that they take care of. An advocate pleads the cause of another and looks out for their well being. This involves being their voice when it comes to medical care. In the past, I have advised to never leave someone with a memory disorder alone in the hospital. Staff tries; however, when things are busy they may not read the chart carefully. It happens. I have had nurses charge out of the room and then return humbled once they checked the charts to find what I was telling them was true.
You learn to send information ahead of the visit. You learn to stand firm but show respect, You have to be bold and speak up. A huge part of a physician’s exam depends on what you tell them. In the case of someone with Alzheimer’s, it is what the family or caregiver tells him or her.
Covid-19 has changed everything. Sometimes you are not allowed past the front door of the hospital. That is why having HIPPA papers listing you is so very critical. Nurses can only give information to the ones listed legally.
Leaving your loved one in the hands of others is heart rending. Fear can take a vise like grip due to the questions that torment you. At those times, I have found taking a pause to breathe deeply and turn to God in prayer helps me to calm down. I can then think more clearly and take action. When you call the hospital remember that honey works better than vinegar sometimes. Be polite. Remain calm. Thank them for taking your call. Acknowledge them by name while writing it down. This helps you know who was helpful and who was rude and seemed to care less. Try not to call just before or after a shift change. If calls are not taken or returned, contact a social or case worker. They can make things happen!
Show a little grace in this whole process. The doctors and nurses have been dealing with outraged and frightened family members for 8 very long months now. They have seen suffering like never before while living with their own fear of taking the covid virus home to their own family.
You do deserve answers. You do deserve respect. I get it! Just remember that kindness can work in your favor and lead to better care for your loved one.
When the world looks dark and you feel all alone, you are never alone. I have stood in a long, dark and silent hallway waiting to be let out in the wee hours of the morning after having to leave my mother at the geriatric psych unit due to out of control behavior. The nurse who evaluated her showed great compassion and allowed me to accompany her to her room once medication had calmed her. I was allowed to tuck her in and kiss her goodnight. Exhausted emotionally and physically is the only way to describe how I felt walking down the long hall to the emergency room. They had called ahead for them to let me out there since that is where my car was. I knocked on the door. A nurse who had been with us most of our time in the ER opened the door and stepped into the hall. She wrapped her arms around me and began to pray. God was reassuring me that I was truly not alone.
Sometimes we need an advocate. All of us have that in Jesus Christ. We have all sinned and fall short. God forgives us but he tells us we have this as well.
“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the righthand of God.” Colossians 3:1
Wow! It amazes me that I have an advocate seated at the right hand of God. He is pleading my cause and looking out for my well being. Now that is a reason to have hope in such a crazy world.
Word for Today
My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. I John 2:1
Prayer for Today,
Our Heavenly Father,
I come with a grateful heart today knowing you not only save me but you care about my life each and every day. You never leave me alone. You hear the words of your Son pleading my cause.
Help me to remember this when I am struggling.
Amen
Song for Today
Walking Them Home 