Today we will be talking about the sense of touch. Last week we took vacation days and experienced the feel of dirt as we planted 200 flowers in a new flower garden. We cut, sanded, stained, nailed and glued seven new posts for our porch. That was a lot of touch, but we were determined to fit all we could into the week. We gathered smooth eggs. Who can resist the slimy feel of a freshly caught catfish?
I felt sweat running down my face as I canned jars of jelly and jam. Cold water felt calm and refreshing as I washed freshly harvested kale, chard, spinach and lettuces. Hot water felt amazing as I showered away aches and pains from the work.
Playing in the dirt is etched in my memory. As a child I loved walking barefoot through the warm soft dirt after the field was tilled. Believe it or not, I have actually wore a sack in the field to hand pick cotton. I remember the sharp contrast of the soft cotton and the tough hull. It is evident that moving back to the country a few years ago was not a huge adjustment for me.
While our state is under a “safer at home” order, we have been enjoying our time together. One thing that has changed is the feel of my sweet hubby’s hand in mine. This country boy has callouses and rougher skin than he had as a city boy. At the end of the day though that tender touch always warms my heart through and through. I feel safe in his arms.
The importance of touch can never be stressed enough. Newborns in the neonatal intensive care unit are often held skin to skin with a parent. Twins have been photographed wrapping their arms around each other or holding hands as newborns. Our need for human touch is there from the beginning. A person living with Alzheimer’s is just as fragile as the newborn. When all other senses and life skills fail them, they are desperate to remain connected and to feel love. Holding their hands helps.
When visiting those with Alzheimer’s, I often offer to apply lotion and take my time sitting by their side and talking while I gently massage their hands. This gives me an opportunity to touch men or women and they feel safe. My mom’s sister would climb on the bed and lie beside my mom during the last months. They had shared a bed as children, so mom seemed to love the connection.
I have heard that extending a hand to an infant or elderly person is like giving them an emotional lifeline. Here is another quote that speaks volumes.
“Touch is far more essential than our other senses. … It’s ten times stronger than verbal or emotional contact.”
— Saul Schanberg
Physical touch increases levels of dopamine and serotonin. These help regulate your mood as well as help your body relieve stress and anxiety. Dopamine is also known to regulate the pleasure center in your brain that is a good counter to feelings of anxiety. This can help when sun downing occurs.
Physical touch is known to improve the function of your immune system. This is a win-win situation for the person with Alzheimer’s and their caregiver. Both benefit from not having other health issues to deal with.
Touch is a form of language. At my father’s funeral service I asked that my uncle’s wheelchair be placed next to me. He had recently lost his wife and now he had lost his only surviving brother. When I sat down, he reached for my hand. I took his and be never let go until the service was over. We have never been real close, but I heard his words loud and clear, even though they never escaped his lips. He was saying this. “I love you. I know how much you are hurting. I loved him and I hurt too. Please just let me connect with you as long as I can. Our hearts can break together.”
Nothing replaces human touch in crisis and times of fear. I have chatted with friends and family through phone calls and texts today. A family member is in the coronary care unit and was critical last night. His wife and children longed to be in the room holding his hand. They want to be there in person to hug him and celebrate that he is still with them today.
Do you know someone who needs an emotional lifeline right now? If you can offer it in a safe way, reach out now. If you have to wait until restrictions are lifted, do it as soon as you can. Our touch can be a source of healing and blessing.
Take time to allow God to wrap His arms around you first. While I feel safe in my husband’s arms, we both feel safer in God’s arms.
Word for Today
In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Dear God,
Thank you for loving us enough to wrap your arms around us and for sending humans to do the same. Help me to remain sensitive to the needs of those around me. Nudge me in their direction when I try to retreat. We all need each other.
Give us hope, comfort and peace as we rest in your safe haven.
Amen
Walking Them Home 