Time Is Different In Alzheimer’s World

We live our lives in the fast lane while running from activity to activity. Picture the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland as he repeats, “I’m late. I’m late. I’m late!”. Scheduling and devices keep us organized. Those are often necessary to keep us on time. They are not always practical in Alzheimer’s World.

For someone living with Alzheimers’s disease, time as we know it does not exist. Time perception becomes very warped. You can go to the restroom for five minutes. The person you are caring for may honestly think that you left them for five hours. Trying to use a clock or watch to convince otherwise usually results in more agitation and confusion.

Days and nights can be confusing as well for them. One morning at 2am my phone rang. I answered it as I tried to wake up. My dad cheerily asked, “What are you doing?”. I told him I had been sleeping. “I took a nap too”, he replied. “Now I am showered, dressed and about to go to the dining room for dinner”. I calmly told dad to look at his clock. He then said,” Oh, I guess I ‘ll have to wait a couple of hours”. It took several times of calmly asking him to go look out the window to convince him that it was 2am and not pm.

Knowing that time perception is off , we can do things to help them navigate better. When you must leave them alone for five minutes, give them something to occupy themselves with. Open blinds and get outdoors as much as possible during the day. This may help keep their circadian rhythm ( their internal clock) in balance. Limit daytime napping.

When you have appointments take snacks, water, and items to keep them busy while you wait. Many restaurants offer small children crackers, colors, etc to avoid outburst while the family waits for their food. Trust me when I say an adult with Alzheimer’s can throw a temper tantrum too. For peace, be prepared. While on the topic of eating out I would like to make a few suggestions. Choose times that aren’t as busy. Carry a small card to slip to your server that states your loved one has memory problems. This information usually causes them to be more patient or turn to you to get both of your orders.

Learning to slow down ourselves is often difficult. The book titled The 36 hour Day suggests that caregiving is like putting in 36 hours every day. It can feel that way. Taking time to relax for a few minutes creates less stress for you and the one you are caring for. They feel your tension. They know when you are frustrated. You set the tone like a thermostat sets the temperature. They respond emotionally to the tone you set like a thermometer reflects the temperature.

Every moment spent providing care are moments you can show love and compassion. One day you will look back and realize they were moments well spent. Be blessed and know God is in this with you. You are not alone. You are not forgotten. Take the time to spend with Him.

Word for Today

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
    and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
    I will not forget you!
 See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
    your walls are ever before me.” Isaiah 49:15-16

Song for Today