Do you see a beautiful happy little person or a mess to clean up? So many times we are busy and only see the mess.
As a caregiver it is so vital that we see the person in front of us rather than the disease that they have. This helps us to look for the beauty that remains. When we become exhausted and frustrated this can be a challenge. Walk away when you need to and remind yourself that the person you once knew is still the same person. They just struggle allowing that person to shine through as they once did.
Today I would like to suggest some ideas to help them express their real self and perhaps recapture things they once loved. It may take some trial and effort but the reward of seeing joy and smiles on their faces is so worth the effort.
Think about what they were passionate about when they could express themselves. If they enjoyed fishing, hang the gone fishing sign and get outdoors if they are able to go. If they are not able, sit down and watch a fishing show or something on you tube about fishing. When they respond, hit the pause button and let them talk about their own fishing experiences. If they were an avid knitter, visit the store and look at yarns. Purchase some and let them just hold it if they can no longer knit.
My dad was an avid Alabama football fan. When I had to relocate him to another state to an assisted living near me I purchased a large Alabama wreath for his door. It provided a talking point for aides and other residents to interact with him about. I even put up a Christmas tree the first game of the season. Each time they won a game he got a new Bama related ornament. This resulted in banter with the employees and residents every week during football season. Of course we watched every game with him bringing his favorite meal and snacks to enjoy.
It my take a little thinking outside of the box to make adjustments, but it is very possible to find ways for them to still enjoy the things they have always enjoyed. Just slow down and let them experience and process at their own pace. Be in the moment with them as a person. Do not let the change in how they process rob them of experiences.
Seeing the person first and the disease second can be difficult. They may look like the child covered in paint when you get through with an art project, a baking session, or gardening adventure. Don’t see the mess. See the contentment on their faces.
It helps when you can access the time of their life that they seem to be living in. In the end stage of Alzheimer’s disease you may have to really dig. My own mother responded positively to the voices of children. Her great grandchildren learned songs from her early years and would sit on her bed and sing to her. This usually resulted in laughter from all of them. She would join in with the few words she could get out and then laugh with them.
Look for the things that brighten the day for both of you. Enjoy them as the person you know and love. Make the most of the beauty and overlook the mess.
When you can’t see past the disease, God will give you wisdom on how to. He gave me ideas when my own creativity was drained. He will be faithful to do the same for you.
Word for Today
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Heavenly Father,
We come to you today desiring to see the person we care for like you do. Every struggle we have along the way matters to you. You love us enough to guide us along the way. We ask that you open our eyes to truly see beyond this terrible disease and see the person with a heart of love. Show us how to remain connected.
Give us patience and kindness when we grow frustrated. Give us peace when confusion blocks our ability to communicate. Grant our desires to give and receive love each and every day.
Amen
Walking Them Home 