Deciding who to share information with is something you will face as a caregiver. You need to process the idea that someone you care about now has a terminal disease. If you need help accepting and processing this information, please seek out someone to help you. My life had crossed paths with two casual acquaintances who were already caregivers or had been. They listened to me and became friends. They were walking the same path but were many steps ahead of me. They encouraged me to prepare for what lie ahead.
In preparing you will want to build a support network. Consider the people you interact with the most. This may be family members, neighbors, coworkers and close friends. Most likely they will not be surprised by your news. They may have observed changes in your loved one and actually be relieved to know what it is. Slowly begin to share with these people. They need time to process as well. The pattern usually moves through shock, denial and finally acceptance.
Once everyone has arrived at acceptance, they will be more wiling to offer support and encouragement. If the person with Alzheimer’s is still working, the employer needs to be made aware. They may be willing to make adjustments to expectations. Do not fear that telling them will result in termination. It will happen eventually as the disease progresses.
You do not have to tell people outside of your support network right away. Take your time and tell those you trust and value in your life. These are the ones who will walk the path with you.
I highly recommend finding a good caregiver support group. They are not all the same. Visit a few if you can find them and find the one that feels right for you. The group should offer information, encouragement, listening ears and fellowship. The ages will range from young adults to seniors because caregivers can be spouses, siblings, children, grandchildren or nieces and nephews.
Talking about Alzheimer’s is nothing to be ashamed of. It is simply a disease effecting an organ. This organ happens to be someone’s brain. They deserve to be treated with love, respect and dignity. By sharing why their behavior has changed is showing love. Your job is to share so that others understand and make adjustments in how they interact with your loved one.
This takes courage but you can do it. If your loved one doesn’t want anyone to know, do not argue. Simply tell who you need to when you feel the time is right. Your loved one may experience fear, confusion and even paranoia so do it quietly. They will have lost reasoning skills and trying to explain to them why someone needs to know may only make things worse.
Sending love and prayers your way as you travel the path of being a caregiver. It may seem daunting at times, but you can do this. When you listen to the lead in to today’s song remember the two people I mentioned at the first of today’s post. God caused our paths to cross and He will cross your path with those you need.
Word for Today
Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. I John 4:11
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Our Heavenly Father,
We are so grateful that you love us enough to send people to hold our hands and keep us lifted in prayer. Give us wisdom to know who to share our burdens with. Give us courage to ask for help when we need it. Give us the ability to accept our circumstances knowing that you are here with us. Give us peace and the ability to proclaim “it is well with my soul”.
Amen
Walking Them Home 