Tis the season to be bombarded with marketing displays. The stores want to appeal to all of our senses as we shop for costumes, food and decor. In October we all love the smell of apple cider and pumpkin pie but we don’t all love being scared. You can walk through your local big box store and turn a corner to encounter a giant monster and scary music. As a caregiver you have to remember that the things you know aren’t real can be very real to your loved one with dementia. They must be protected from things that can startle or alarm them. This may mean avoiding stores during the month of October as much as possible.
I would turn my lights down and avoid answering the door for trick or treaters. You might plan a quiet outing to visit a friend who lives away from the hustle and bustle.
As the candy wrappers disappear the festivities of Thanksgiving and Christmas loom on the horizon. While family gatherings can be wonderful for many, they can be intimidating for someone who is already confused. Over stimulation drives them into a shell. The key to navigating the holidays is to keep things simple.
It is alright to decorate the tree, bake cookies and play carols. Just spread the activities out. Take down time to sip hot cocoa and enjoy the cookies. Entertain a few visitors at a time rather than large groups. Avoid the shopping crowds. Take advantage of online shopping. Consider ordering groceries online if it is available in your area. Taking a short ride to pick up filled orders might be fun for your loved one.
If your loved one lives in a facility ask yourself the hard questions. Do I bring them to the family gathering? Why am I doing this? Do they truly enjoy the large crowd or is it to ease my guilt? Many times they return exhausted, confused and agitated. Perhaps you can spread the family out and make short visits to the facility so you can visit one on one without so many distractions.
One year my husband and I found a cabin in the mountains and took my parents just before Thanksgiving. We cooked our meals in and simply enjoyed watching wild turkeys on the property. We chose to take a drive to one of my mother’s favorite spots. She was very peaceful and remembered taking trips there before. On our way back to the cabin snow began to fall. It is one of the best days she had just before her disease progressed to a new stage. We entered Thanksgiving with peaceful hearts.
The most important gift we can give and celebrate is the love we share and the joy we find in Christ. Wrap your loved one in your arms and let peace surround you both.
Word for Today
“Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” Luke 2:14
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Dear God,
We come to you today seeking the humbleness of a child who trusts so easily. We make it hard and forget that the peace of Christ is a gift you give freely. Let us remain in this place of peace as the holiday season approaches. Remind us to slow down and focus on what truly matters.
Amen
Walking Them Home 