Personalities change when a person has Alzheimer’s. I have seen a harsh person become as gentle as a lamb. I have seen a meek person become an angry bear. What we must remember is that these changes are all a part of the disease.
Frustration occurs when a person feels overwhelmed or loses control. Confusion is one of the leading causes of aggression. Imagine entering a world where your mind can no longer process sights and sounds as it used to. Imagine knowing what you want and not being able to express it correctly. Imagine being removed from your home and waking up in a strange place with a stranger removing your clothes and placing you in a shower. You might become angry and aggressive in those situations. I know I most likely would.
Since we know anger and aggression occur, we must watch for triggers that set this behavior off and learn to manage it when it happens. These skills will make life smoother and relieve tension in the home.
First we will look at possible triggers. Look for the cause of distress. Here are some possible causes:
- need to toilet
- pain
- over stimulated (noise and activity)
- boredom
- hunger
- tired
- too hot or too cold
- change of caregiver
- relocation
- loss of time perception
- inability to form new memories
Ways to handle anger and aggression are the responsibility of the caregiver. The person suffering from dementia has no control of their reactions. In fact, once the outburst is over they may not even remember it. Our first reaction is to correct or argue. This may have worked in the past but now those life skills must be tossed aside and new ones must be mastered.
You have to remain calm and use soothing tones. The person lives in Alzheimer’s world. In this world, they are always right. Arguing and reasoning only escalate their anger.
Here are some suggestions:
- eliminate the source of confusion or frustration if possible
- avoid physical contact
- speak in a calm voice and control facial expressions (hide your anger and frustration)
- Acknowledge their feelings (I know you are frustrated)
- take a few moments apart if possible
- alert your healthcare provider if you notice significant changes
- keep a simple routine
I cannot emphasize enough that you must remember it is the disease speaking and not the one you care for. My own mother was always in control of her emotions and very stable. I never remember her losing control of her emotions. When the disease progressed she actually punched me and was very angry. After getting over the shock, I worked hard to acquire skills in redirection of behavior and learned to take a time out to breath and regroup when neccessary.
There will be rough days. If they ever become dangerously aggressive, call for emergency help. Inform them right away that the individual suffers from Alzheimer’s. Emergency workers are becoming more informed and better prepared to deal with dementia.
Please do not allow this post to scare you or bring pain. It is best to be informed and begin practicing these new skills before you need them. As my own mother’s disease progressed we did have to add some medications. These eased her anger and aggression. She was very calm and gentle in her final years.
Song for Today
Word for Today
When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. Psalm 94:18-19
Prayer for Today
Dear Heavenly Father,
It is so reassuring to know that you always hold on to me and you will never let go. On the days that are stormy please give me calm and peace to care for my loved one. Give me patience and insight as I navigate the outbursts of anger and frustration. Restore joy to me when I feel mine is depleted.
Help me to focus on the good days. Guide me as I strive to enrich their lives by still making heart connections.
I thank you for bringing peace to both of our souls today.
Amen
Walking Them Home 