I have stressed the importance of having a plan. Personally, I function well that way. A friend of mine who was a caregiver reminded me of the importance of remaining flexible. The two go hand in hand. With Alzheimer’s you have to adjust each day. When you fail to do so, it can be painful.
When writing I sometimes allow thoughts to sit and simmer in draft form while I wordsmith and reflect. The thoughts above were driven home in a real way yesterday afternoon. My plan was to take my 6 month old German shepherd for a quick trip out to potty. When I tugged on his leash and said “let’s go”, he heard time for a ride in the utv. In his excited state he bolted in the opposite direction of where I was going. My flexibility was no match for his 65 pounds of energy. I am sitting here writing with my knee elevated due to the inflicted pain.
While consistent schedules are important for those with dementia, we must remain flexible. Bathing, dressing and preparing to go out can be similar to leaving the house with an infant or toddler. Incontinence occurs and you are right back in the bathroom starting over again.
My children liked to explore when we took walks. I usually allowed this. As a seasoned grandparent I saw these pauses as wonderful opportunities to join in on their curiosity. Stopping to smell the roses keeps harmony and peace. With the one you care for it is just as critical to slow down and let them enjoy the simple pleasures they still can.
Don’t allow the interruptions to your plans to become stumbling blocks. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that being flexible will make life easier for both of you. You may even find enjoyment in the change of plans.
If we are observant we can anticipate mood swings and avoid conflicts. This is a part of being flexible. Learn to read facial expressions and body language. This clues you in on whether your plans for the day need to be adjusted. As I mentioned in a previous post, an excellent book about learning these skills is Learning to Speak Alzheimer’s.
It is important to know your limitations though. When the tension becomes too intense even rubber bands snap. If you have ever had this happens, you know it stings. There is a breaking point when even flexibility requires some assistance. Don’t get there. Ask for help when you need it. There are people who just need to feel needed. Let them know you need them.
Change demands flexibility. When we embrace the changes through joy and pain it makes life smoother than resisting the change. Always remember that God is steadfast and even though we face changing situations, God’s faithfulness does not change.
Word for Today
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17
Song for Today
Prayer for Today
Dear Heavenly Father,
Some days when changes seem to turn everything upside down, I hold on to your faithfulness. Give me patience as I strive to be flexible. Forgive me for losing sight of what is truly important. Help me to remain calm when things become tense. Help me to trust that others can offer help.
I do praise you for your steadfast faithfulness even when I feel stretched to my limits. Hold me together and reassure me that You are here with us.
Amen
Walking Them Home 